CEILINGS by Lizzy McAlpine is a freaking masterpiece

Have you ever found a song and just replayed the living hell out of it?

I don’t know why this thing hits me like a sledgehammer from the special personal collection of Peter Gabriel.

But I keep replaying the thing, over and over. Here, watch this thing we called a “music video” a hundred years ago when this cable channel appeared that showed music videos ALL DAY LONG. Brilliant business model. People send you videos, you play them, you sell ads–it’s a license to print money.

The only way this could go wrong is if you stopped playing free music videos and started paying money to produce stupid reality shows.

Here’s the music video, which I hadn’t seen until I wore out this song on Spotify or whatever:

It smacks you upside the feelings, doesn’t it? That twist in the end makes M. Night Shyamalan jealous. Super rare to have in a song. As a writer, I could not love the lyrics more. The repetition with a purpose, and the twists each time–beautiful.

This is why I love the genre Angry Acoustic: songs are stripped down, lyrics actually matter, and they tell stories instead of the usual pop song that repeats the same lyric 3,423 times until you bring out the shot glasses and down some Draino.

I have replayed this song again. I’ll play it more today. And I hope other people find this song, and that each time it gets hit on Spotify or YouTube, she gets paid, because Lizzy, you deserve it.

VERDICT: 11/10, give is more of this. MORE MORE MORE.

SPECIAL BONUS: Acoustic version, which also rocks. If you search the series of tubes, there’s also a sped-up version, very Alvin and the Chipmunks, but I will not link to it, because that is sacrilege.

The storytelling genius of HALF OF MY HOMETOWN by Kelsea Ballerini

Yes, this is a music video, and we will play it because MTV resolutely refuses to do their damn job. Have a look and listen, then we will TALK ABOUT ALL THE THINGS.

First off, I come here to talk smack about lyrics, not the actual music video. The video is fine. It’s not blowing my mind and it’s not making me close my eyes and chant a lullaby to make it go away.

The words are what we are here for, and the words are GOOD.

Dissecting the lyrics, but not in an icky dead frog way like biology class

Let’s go after the first few lines:

Half of my high school got too drunk
Half of my high school fell in love
With the girl next door
In their daddy’s Ford
Half of my main street’s mini skirts
Half of my main street’s dressed for church
It could use some rain
And a fresh coat of paint

Such a great way of painting a picture of her hometown and the people who live there without giving everyone the same hues and textures.

Because let’s be honest: half of all pop songs are about getting drunk, and half of all pop songs are about falling in love, but few pop or country songs dare to have a lot of nuance or subtlety. They’re more likely to hit you over the head with a single message, like, “I’m on a BOAT!” then repeat that message six hundred times.

Now, the chorus:

Half of my hometown’s still hangin’ around
Still talkin’ about that one touchdown
They’re still wearin’ red and black
Go Bobcats, while the other half
Of my hometown they all got out
Some went north
Some went south
Still lookin’ for a feelin’ half of us ain’t found
So stay or leave
Part of me will always be
Half of my hometown

Oh, here we go. I don’t really have a home town, being born on a military base we left after a year. Kept on hopping around bases in the Germany and the Holland and the New York–so if you put a Glock to my noggin and asked me for a single detail about my hometown, couldn’t tell you a damn thing. Throw a blindfold on me and ask me whether an F-15 or F-16 is flying overhead and I’m you’re man.

However: we now live in a one-stoplight logging town, where half the town does show up to wear maroon and gray every Friday night and is still talking about that one touchdown. So I feel these lyrics in a way that Justin Bieber could never reach me with the lyrics of his masterpiece, “Baby, Baby, Baby.”

Half of our prom queens cut their hair
Half of them think that it ain’t fair
The quarterback moved away and never came back
Half of my family is happy I left
The other half worries I’ll just forget
Where I came from
Same place where they came from

I could not love this more. Beautiful lyrics and they do touch on the touch choice facing anyone from a small town: stay for family and neighbors and friends, or leave for opportunities and dreams. Totally get that.

Now we get the chorus again, so I’ll delete that chunk and give you the next real bit. Say hello to the bridge and the closing:

Backroads raise us
Highways they take us
Memories make us wanna go back

To our hometown, settle down
Talk about that one touchdown
Raise some kids in red and black
Go Bobcats, while the other half
Of my hometown was in the crowd
They knew the words
They sang them loud
And all I wanna do is make them proud
Cause half of me will always be
Knoxville, Tennessee
My hometown
My hometown

Heard this song again and again, making the ending anything but a surprise. I know exactly what is coming. And the last lines still hit hard.

VERDICT

Here’s the deal: I enjoy pop songs and Angry Indie Acoustic stuff far, far more than country music. However: country and rap songs tend to tell this thing we call a story. They also get more inventive with lyrics, echoes, and reversals with wording.

The Chicks song, TRAVELING SOLDIER, is a freaking masterpiece.

Do the lyrics to MY HOMETOWN do the job? Paula Abdul would say, “Yes, yes, a thousand times, YES!” but she’d mean it and Emelio Estevez would mean it this time and they’d still be married today. Ben Affleck and J. Lo, do not listen to this song, move to a small town, and get married to each other or another human being again. Hold off for a decade or two.

Kelsea Ballerini nails it in a few hundred words. Seriously, count them up. If you don’t count the repeated chorus, it is shocking how few words she uses to do a complicated job of making us see her hometown and feel all these choices and people.

11/10, beautiful job, give us more more MORE.

Elizaveta sings a Ukrainian folk song and yes, crying is okay

Usually, I will (a) find an obscure and bizarre music video, (b) make fun of famous bands with famously bad videos, or (c) delight in the discovery of something musical that is unique and amazing.

The world is too crazy right now. Making fun of things, even when it is deserved, doesn’t sit right with me today.

As a former journalist, I still love the news. The only stories I want to read right now are about Ukraine, in the hopes that they defend their country and can rebuild and live in peace again. (Some of you know what I’m talking about: liveuamap.com, the Kyiv Independent, and understandingwar.org)

So I’m running into video after video of music from Ukraine, by ordinary people and soldiers, that moves me far more than any bazillion dollar extravaganza by whatever diva or boy band is hot right now.

This is the one that I keep watching.

What do I like?

I like how it starts as simply and slowly as you can, one woman singing alone, no music whatsoever.

I like how the other people come behind her and join in, and how the power of the chorus grows.

I like the feeling behind the words in a language I don’t understand.

And I like these people, fighting for their home, and for democracy.

Slava Ukraini.

Is RED DRESS by Sarah Brand intentionally going for Worst Music Video of All Time?

In the old days, back when MTV actually played music videos, it took some doing to shoot, edit, and release a music video. You needed a serious film camera, an editor, lights, an actual band, and a platform where people could see it. Thus, MTV.

In the ’80s–and even today–there are music videos shot by Hollywood directors and budgets in the millions.

Yet these days, we all carry supercomputers in our pockets, and fool with an iPhone can shoot a video and edit it on their laptop.

That doesn’t mean they should, or that it will be good.

Which brings us to RED DRESS by Sarah Brand, which is dividing the musical world. Is it horrible, intentionally horrible, or disguised brilliance, with the singer trolling us to boost her name ID before she releases her real music?

There are comments in the YouTube that try to explain this is “microtonal music,” and amazing, while vocal coaches and other smart people say that’s nonsense and that when she was asked what key this song is in, Sarah replied, “All of them.”

Here, watch this thing so we can properly discuss and dissect it.

What say you?

I believe, deep in my soul, that the evidence clearly points to Sarah Brand as being deadly serious about this, and not trolling us at all.

This wasn’t a quick little joke.

She composed, sang, directed, and edited this video. There’s a bit of a blooper real at the end. And it’s clear she recruited every friend in sight to be in it.

But hey, I’m not going to beat her up for trying. She’s not asking us to buy concert tickets at $100 a pop. There’s no link to buy T-shirts or anything.

Sarah wanted to make a music video and did it, and the Series of Tubes is a much simpler way to share it than trying to get MTV execs to play the thing.

Is it bad? Yeah. HOWEVER: there are tons of pop stars who sound great in the studio and terrible live.

Just like anything else creative, the editing and polishing means everything. Writing, photography, painting, whatever.

Here’s an amazing look at how much editing can fix. Same raw material, same voice.

VERDICT

I’m not going to do the easy thing and hate on this, or the hipster thing and try to claim this is microtonal goodness that regular people just don’t understand.

My point is this: art is hard. Yes, some geniuses like Dave Grohl can play all the instruments on an album they make in their garage for kicks and accidentally give birth to Foo Fighters, and some filmmakers can shoot and edit a film with a skeleton crew of themselves, their dog, and Neighbor Kid Walter to fetch Taco Bell when the actors get hungry.

But those are the rare, rare exceptions. Every artist is better when they have a team of professionals behind them.

VIDEO: The Red Pen of Doom interprets the lyrics to ICE, ICE, BABY

A long time ago, in a Florida far, far away, there was a young rapper who showed up on MTV and turned into an overnight star.

He didn’t really have other hit songs–the one from TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES does not count–and no, I’m not a giant fan of Vanilla Ice, who later became some kind of home improvement channel renovator and such, but not on the show with the two redheads in Indiana.

HOWEVER: the lyrics on this song are actually interesting, and worth going into, line-by-line.

I did so, using a keyboard, in a previous post. Now, I’m teaching myself how to use Adobe After Effects and such, and the new Evil Supercomputer happily renders videos. So here’s my first video, and yes, this is janky and terrible in spots. My video editing skills are small and young, but I will feed them small videos, then medium-sized ones, and one day, we will kill a Godzilla-sized film and feast upon it for days.

Next: I’m thinking of interpreting the lyrics to the classic song, ELECTRIC AVENUE, the first one I remember seeing on MTV, and no, I don’t care if some other video was officially first. This was way back, right after Spanish American War, and they played ELECTRIC AVENUE using telegrams and such. It was glorious.

VERY NOISE by Igorrr is definitely weird, but is it any good?

Anyone today can make music, then jack into the Matrix and upload their creation–along with a video–for the world to see.

If they can find it.

I scoured YouTube and found this thing, so let’s take a peek before we talk smack.

First, I have to say the music is fine. Don’t hate it, don’t love it, but perfectly listenable. Nothing super strange or unique about it.

The video is what interests me, because they obviously (a) had a decent CGI budget and (b) put some real thought into a storyline that’s (c) pretty funny and effective.

Who doesn’t like monster movies, and a bit of Godzilla-like smashing of a metropolis or three?

And who won’t enjoy an unlikely hero, in this case a motorcycle-riding old man, riding in to fight the monster even though it’s suicidal?

My only quibble with this video is a longer fight would have been enjoyable. Also expected, which is probably why they subverted that by having the Ancient Biker Anti-Hero kill the monster in this unusual and non-heroic way.

VERDICT

Hey, this is art, and it is both interesting and different. Give us moar.

MOTIVATION by Normani is the tip of her talent iceberg

I first saw and heard Normani in LOVE LIES, which is one of the greatest music videos ever. Seriously. I’ve played it 6.2 gazillion times and am still not sick of it. Khalid and Normani nail this thing. If you haven’t seen it, check this thing out. Such a slow burn.

Then I kept hearing her on other tracks, like DANCING WITH A STRANGER with Sam Smith–just perfect.

Here’s the first song I’ve seen from her that’s completely hers. Check it out.

Impressive, right?

Most people are lucky to have nurtured one talent to a world-class level. Singing or dancing. Not both.

I think she’s got heaps of talent in singing and dancing. She reminds me a lot of Ariane Grande years ago, before she went supernova, and people knew her mostly for spot-on impressions of Celine Dion, Britney Spears, Shakira or whoever. Wait for the middle of this video where she does Christina Aguilera singing THE WHEELS ON THE BUS, which is crazysauce. I would totally buy an album of her doing covers like this.

VERDICT

I believe, deep in my soul, that Normani is going to take over and dominate the airwaves. Give us moar moar MOAR.

Why PHYSICAL by Dua Lipa is such good fun

Dua Lipa is one of the rare singers who continually tries new things in music videos, and songs. Those risks tend to pay off. I can’t remember the last song or video where I skipped it.

I only heard PHYSICAL on the radio and found the video because a dancer did a tribute that I swore was the actual official video.

And this song itself is a tribune to the original 1980s LET’S GET PHYSICAL by Olivia Newton John.

First, let’s check out Dua Lipa’s video before we talk smack.

Good, right? It’s paying homage without being a direct ripoff of Oliva Newton John.

What I like is Dua Lipa clearly cares about dance. They aren’t part of the background, making her look good — she’s dancing right with them, in this one and every video I’ve seen her do. Impressive.

The pioneer of legwarmer videos

Now here’s the original, which is still funny, but hasn’t aged that well.

This was a big deal when it came out. Huge.

Now it looks pretty cheesy, like those Crystal Light National Aerobics Championships, which is amazing and worth being studied in Contemporary History 376: What Were They Smoking in the 1980s?

VERDICT

The more I see and hear of Dua Lipa, the more I like her stuff.

Great job–please keep taking risks and trying new things with these videos. Give us moar moar MOAR.

IF THE WORLD WAS ENDING is the right kind of song for 2020

Wait five minutes and 2020 will deliver unto you new craziness, like today’s massive hacking attack.

So this song by two people I’d never heard of, J.P. Saxe and Julia Michaels, totally fits the mood of this year of apocalyptic nuttiness, with all of us just waiting for what’s next.

Giant meteor? Fine. Alien invasion? BRING IT, INTERGALACTIC MAGGOTS–WE ARE EMOTIONALLY NUMB AND UNAFRAID TO DIE.

Here’s the video:

Simple, right?

They didn’t hire a Hollywood action blockbuster director and spend $8 million on sets, explosions, and backup dancers.

Two characters singing separately on split screens. Then together.

Simple, cheap, and beautiful.

VERDICT: Love it. Give us moar moar moar.

GOOD THING by Zedd and Kehlani is just about perfect

Listen: I’ve grown up watching music videos, and have seen them evolve and branch out.

There are dance videos, art-house cray cray, stadium rockers, short films, low-rent masterpieces and high-budget flops.

This video is nearly flawless.

There’s a real story in here, character arcs, a theme of the working class versus the decadent rich–and great dancing at the end.

Most music videos will shoot for maybe one of those things and roll with it from start to finish. All story, all theme, all dancing.

I really like how the director put all the ingredients together without overdoing any one thing.

VERDICT

The acid test for a music video, book, or movie is simple: Do you want more?

I’ve replayed this a dozen times in the last week and it hasn’t gotten old once.

Love it. Give us moar moar MOAR.