Go the to theater and see EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, then see it again

Listen: I am not an easy mark, or the kind of fanboy who’s read all the comics and would love a three-hour Marvel movie that got super deep into what kind of shopping list Deadpool would have and whether he’d buy organic fruits to be ironic or not.

Nor do I embrace the easy nihilism that everything sucks, though we all go through that phase.

I can like things, love them, hate them, or be completely ambivalent. I AM MULTITUDES.

Yet some movies are like your true love. You just know it. There is no doubt, no caveats, no wishy washy bullshit whatsoever.


Here, watch the trailer and we’ll talk smack.

This movie will surprise you, make you laugh, surprise you more, make you cry, and do the impossible trick of making you want to see it again.

Seriously, there is a short list of movies I’d happily watch again & again. Bet you have a short list, too.

This one makes that list.

Some interesting bits without throwing 583 spoilers at you:

  • It’s directed by the Daniels (two men both with the first name Daniel) and my only regret is they couldn’t get Daniel Ratcliffe in here to go full Daniel.
  • The budget was only $25 million, which I did not believe at first.
  • You’ll recognize the male lead’s voice from THE GOONIES and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.
  • Damn near everybody in this movie deserves Best Actor nominations, they did not hold back, they owned this thing.
  • Bagels with everything are the bomb.

I want to say, up front, that giving the Daniels a budget of $250 million would not have improved the movie. The special effects were great when they wanted them to be great and entertainingly cheesy when called for. One of the best scenes features two rocks, I kid you not.

Also, a budget of $250 million would mean studio execs and preview audience nonsense killing half of the insane and absurd parts that makes this movie stick with you so much.

So: go see this thing at theaters while you can. Bring a friend or three and share a giant tub of popcorn, which seems like a great deal because it’s only 50 cents more than the itty bitty Medium bag of poporn, though that’s an economic illusion due to the overpriced and bullshit nature of that Medium popcorn.

You’ll be able to see the Dr. Strange movie later, and the Thor movie, and all the other comic book movies that cost more than the Gross Domestic Product of Paraguay to create.

See this movie in a theater while it’s still around. Maybe you’ll simply like it. My bet, though, is that you’ll love it, and we need to support indie movies that take big risks like this.


What you need to know before seeing AVENGERS 2: AGE OF ULTRON

Unless you live in an ice cave, you know that AVENGERS 2 opens on May 1.

When it does open, all your friends will go see it, then ask what you thought about it, and What This Movie Means for the next 10 Marvel movies. Those films will feature Thor, Iron Man, Loki, and 16 other characters, and they will make $18 billion dollars.

Let’s get you educated on the whole Marvel shebang, then talk about why Marvel, against all odds, has taken over movie theaters for the next century.

Before you spend $42 on Imax tickets, 5800 calories worth of popcorn with fake butter drizzled on it and 72 ounces of Diet Coke, watch this video to refresh your knowledge of all things Marvel:

And now I’ll get serious for a moment.

Why have the Marvel movies rocked the box office so hard? Continue reading


tinseltown tuesday meme morpheous

What did we do before YouTube was invented?

THE BREAKFAST CLUB is a classic coming-of-age movie, which involves a jock, a prom princess, a geek, a stoner and a freak. THE AVENGERS is the same, except the kids are all grown up, have fancier toys and bigger issues, as this beautiful mashup makes clear.

I DID IT MY WAY by Walter White (Br Ba)

Heisenberg's hat.

BREAKING BAD is the best thing on the Glowing Tube, by far — that’s the consensus of all kinds of critics and smart peoples on this rock circling the sun. The thing has its own subreddit, just like Batman and catsstandingup — that’s how big it is.

Who could’ve predicted the actor who played Hal on Malcolm in the Middle would transform into this amazing character, Walter White?

And this mashup here, of Walter White singing the old Sinatra — well, it doesn’t get any better than this.

I tip my hat to actor Bryan Cranston and the whole BREAKING BAD team. Amazing work on an amazing series.

The most epic movie trailer mashup OF ALL TIME

tinseltown tuesday meme morpheous

This man named Vadzim Khudabets edits movie trailers for a living. So he took 99 movies trailers and stitched them all together into this masterpiece of summer movie awesomesauce.

THE PROTOTYPE trailer is what movies should be

Now, sometimes a bad movie can fool you by putting together 3 minutes of good stuff — the only 3 minutes that don’t stink — into the trailer.

Not this movie. You can feel that it’s going to be good, just like five seconds into the ARGO trailer, I knew Ben Affleck had strapped himself into a chair and watched GIGLI for 72 hours before vowing to atone for his sins, which also include PEARL HARBOR and any other movie he doesn’t also direct. He is born to direct, and to have shaggy hair with a beard.

HOWEVER: This is preventing you from watching one of the best trailers I’ve seen in forever. Here you go.