Go the to theater and see EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, then see it again

Listen: I am not an easy mark, or the kind of fanboy who’s read all the comics and would love a three-hour Marvel movie that got super deep into what kind of shopping list Deadpool would have and whether he’d buy organic fruits to be ironic or not.

Nor do I embrace the easy nihilism that everything sucks, though we all go through that phase.

I can like things, love them, hate them, or be completely ambivalent. I AM MULTITUDES.

Yet some movies are like your true love. You just know it. There is no doubt, no caveats, no wishy washy bullshit whatsoever.


Here, watch the trailer and we’ll talk smack.

This movie will surprise you, make you laugh, surprise you more, make you cry, and do the impossible trick of making you want to see it again.

Seriously, there is a short list of movies I’d happily watch again & again. Bet you have a short list, too.

This one makes that list.

Some interesting bits without throwing 583 spoilers at you:

  • It’s directed by the Daniels (two men both with the first name Daniel) and my only regret is they couldn’t get Daniel Ratcliffe in here to go full Daniel.
  • The budget was only $25 million, which I did not believe at first.
  • You’ll recognize the male lead’s voice from THE GOONIES and INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM.
  • Damn near everybody in this movie deserves Best Actor nominations, they did not hold back, they owned this thing.
  • Bagels with everything are the bomb.

I want to say, up front, that giving the Daniels a budget of $250 million would not have improved the movie. The special effects were great when they wanted them to be great and entertainingly cheesy when called for. One of the best scenes features two rocks, I kid you not.

Also, a budget of $250 million would mean studio execs and preview audience nonsense killing half of the insane and absurd parts that makes this movie stick with you so much.

So: go see this thing at theaters while you can. Bring a friend or three and share a giant tub of popcorn, which seems like a great deal because it’s only 50 cents more than the itty bitty Medium bag of poporn, though that’s an economic illusion due to the overpriced and bullshit nature of that Medium popcorn.

You’ll be able to see the Dr. Strange movie later, and the Thor movie, and all the other comic book movies that cost more than the Gross Domestic Product of Paraguay to create.

See this movie in a theater while it’s still around. Maybe you’ll simply like it. My bet, though, is that you’ll love it, and we need to support indie movies that take big risks like this.

Big, Beautiful Movies with Sad, Stupid Endings

tinseltown tuesday meme morpheous

The First Law of Bad Literary Novels is simple: there are no happy endings.

It’s the same story with Big, Beautiful Movies with Sad, Stupid Endings.

Now, that’s not to say every book and movie needs a prototypical Hollywood happy ending. Tragedies should have sad endings, and there are plenty of classic movies where the ending is ambiguous.

Rocky actually loses his first fight. The victory comes from not getting knocked out – and from the journey from loser to contender. Rocky suffers, sacrifices and grows. That’s why the movie is good: there’s a big contrast between where Rocky is in Act 1 and where he ends up in Act 3.

The trouble with these movies is the audience doesn’t want to see them again, if they ever saw them in the first place, because the ending sours everybody, despite the beautiful imagery and amazing acting.

I’m not saying you can’t make a great movie without being low-brow and throwing in more explosions than Michael Bay ever dreamed possible.

Continue reading “Big, Beautiful Movies with Sad, Stupid Endings”