Many moons ago, when the Series of Tubes was young, the Associated Press ran one of the best headlines IN THE HISTORY OF MAN.
Here it is:
Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia
Now, since this is where I work, and my buddy Larry of the Palouse lived in this neighborhood at that time, we lost our minds. Because it was funny and insane and somewhat scary, if you had little pookies, puppies or cats.
This gang of raccoons was truly bloodthirsty. I could picture a horror movie, PSYCHO KILLER RACCOONS, being far more scary and realistic than 90 percent of the teen slasher films Hollywood pumps out.
Now, not far from Olympia, we have this story from THIS MONTH, where a woman was savagely attacked by more psycho killer raccoons.
They had her on the ground and gave her something like 100-bazillion puncture wounds before people chased them off. Here’s that story:
And now we have a column by Peter the Callaghan about the raccoon PR problem, a column that deserves its own column, because it’s just that good.
Read it here by clicking with your mousity mouse.
I am in Psycho Killer Raccoon heaven.
Bonus: apparently, chicken-slaying raccoons like donuts for dessert.