A group of powerful trends have gathered together and magnified their power–like Voltron except the robot beast is made of Karens–to create today’s tsunami of insanity captured on film.
The first trend? Everybody has a supercomputer in their pocket, connected to the Series of Tubes, with a built-in video camera and microphone. Within seconds, they can push buttons and bear witness to Darwin Award winners, a Florida Man doing Florida Man things, or a doggo being cute.
The second trend? Different tech platforms and social media channels allowing the cross-posting of videos. I can see TikTok videos on Twitter, embed Twitter videos on WordPress and throw YouTube stuff on Facebook.
The third trend is the COVID 19 global pandemic, which has given us 6,943 videos of Karens refusing to wear masks and acting like loons.
I’ll end on a serious note. Sure, smart phones today give all of us the power to be a roaming TV studio, and you can use that power to shoot videos of your dog playing with a baby deer. You can also use your phone to get footage that may change the national and global debate about police violence, or whether the people of Hong Kong will still have democracy and freedom.
Anybody can be a citizen journalist now. And that changes things forever.
UPDATE: The wild song I’m writing about (down below) is from North Korea, and what’s truly weird is just across the border, South Korea is the world champion of pop music.
That’s not hyperbole. The new single by BTS will bring in an estimated $1.4 billion dollars to South Korea’s economy. Yeah, billion with a B, kid you not.
While the North Korean state TV is clunky Soviet-style propaganda, and they don’t have open access to the interwebs, K-pop fans are the most fearsome online army on the planet, dominating TikTok and Twitter and whatever new app got invented five minutes ago.
K-pop fans also like to hashtag crash bigots and bullies, which is amaaaaazing to watch. They destroyed the Proud Boys.
So before we watch EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY, let’s cleanse our palate with the new video from BTS.
ORIGINAL POST: Okay, this is a first for me. I am pritnear speechless, despite the fact that I spelled “pritnear” PERFECTLY.
I found a music video from North Korea that is not a joke or an Onion parody. It’s a hit song from 2005, and yes, we now have the actual lyrics to this pop music masterpiece.
Why do we care?
Because the new dictator of North Korea used to be her boyfriend, years ago, but his daddy forbade him from seeing her. She is was married to a soldier and had a kid. HOWEVER: Now that junior runs the country, she’s by his side all the time. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. There are stories in respected papers of news and such. Here’s one:
Update: And now it’s official. News reports say she is married to the young Dear Leader, though there’s no mention of what happened to the old husband and such.
As a special bonus, NPRÂ figured out the lyrics to the song.
Our factory comrades say in jest Why they tell me I am a virgin on a stallion After a full day’s work i still have energy left My skills are truly like lightening they say They say I am a virgin on a stallion Yet again today I was the first to leave for work Apparently my name was in the paper In a (?) time An award given to youth who live in flight They say I am a virgin on a stallion The party era is teeming with creation A new name they present to youth Mounting a stallion the dear leader gave me All my life I will live to uphold his name They say I am a virgin on a stallion Mounting a stallion my dear leader gave me All my life I will live to uphold his name
Also: her other big hit, SHE IS A DISCHARGED SOLDIER.
The Red Pen of Doom 