Introducing the iWatch, which will change the world FOREVER

Here it is, the latest mind-blowing invention from Apple via a leaked video from sources in Silicon Valley that I can’t reveal.

Sorry. Not gonna do it. Wouldn’t be prudent.

Now, that’s funny, mostly because there’s a ton of truth packed in with the sarcasm.

And the trend in the other direction, toward massive phones that don’t fit in your pocket, monstrous phone-tablets offspring called phablets by People Who Are Terrible At Naming Things — well, that’s just as bad as the iWatch.

Gadgets should be simple. Do one thing and do it well, or do lots of things well but make it convenient.

I own a few watches and stopped wearing them years ago, not because they broke, or the batteries ran out, but because there’s a phone on my Samsung Galaxy, a clock on my PC at work, another clock in my car, clocks on the wall. How many clocks do I need?

And I don’t need a tiny screen on my wrist when there’s a big screen on my desk, a good-sized screen on my phone, a Nook in my messenger bag (call it a murse, I don’t care, I can take it) and an iPad sitting around home somewhere that nobody uses. After a certain point, you can only use so many screens, sync so many devices and update the stupid things so many times. Honestly, why does iTunes need to download another update every two weeks? The last time it updated, iTunes conveniently forget all my song ratings and such. Call it an undocumented feature.

What part of modern technology (a) makes you all happy, like GPS meaning we don’t get lost anymore, or (b) annoys you to no end? Tell me. Just don’t leave me a voice mail about it. Hate ’em. Won’t listen.

9 thoughts on “Introducing the iWatch, which will change the world FOREVER

  1. “Gadgets should be simple. Do one thing and do it well, or do lots of things well but make it convenient.”

    Companies are starting to figure that out (sort of). Look at apps which are being split apart. There are two primary reasons this is happening: Always number 1 – money. And number 2 – they can dedicate more time to each service, making each service better than when it was whole. Yes, while they’re driven by money for obvious reasons, number two is just as important. I have to give Facebook credit; Paper is a tremendously good app. Messenger has come into it’s own finally, and feels more like the Beluga I once knew and anticipated before it was merged into Facebook and closed down.

    With that said, a watch can be convenient for many people, especially people who exercise. I’m not very good at the exercise thing, but I have, and one thing that is always inconveniencing – my iPod or my iPhone. So, you strap it to your arm and it’s not a problem any more. Well, a watch is functionally convenient. Instead of strapping my phone to my arm, I’ve got the device already there. It’s a seamless transition, and I can leave my proper phone behind at home/in the car. I don’t need all the apps, I just need the basics. Something to see the notifications I get on my phone, the ability to answer the phone/hear voicemail, potentially read email / maybe respond, and a clock / calendar app, so I’m aware of the time and my schedule.

    I think that could be very convenient in general. If you really need to charge your phone, you could leave that at home while you take the basics with you. Like it or not, for better or worse, half of the world for a lot of people is online. Many people don’t want to be disconnected from it.

    I don’t think that’s the result of group think either. It’s how society has been. Few actually want to be left out, while the rest want in. 100 years ago, everybody knew what everybody was doing, and if you were a stranger, you weren’t trusted. Since we don’t do that sort of thing in life any more, this is the new outlet – the Internet, where we know everything about each other anonymously, so we know nothing.

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  2. I love that you have watches that you don’t wear. I finally have one watch that fits my wrist and would rather wear something comfortable, not another techie status symble.

    (Guy, you can erase this part of my comment. I caught a typo in a sentence. I hate them! so correct if you wish. “The last time it updated, iTunes conveniently [forget] all my song ratings…”)

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  3. I wear a watch only to show me what time it is when I’m out of sight of any other time-telling device (and then only when I WANT to know any more than it’s dark or light out…kind of like Harry’s iSun). But that’s the kicker…I only need a watch to tell time. I don’t want to be able to watch the stock market ticker, hear music, play games (who can see such a tiny screen?) or read Book of Face posts or comments about people’s lunch choices on The Twitter on my wrist. Come to think of it, I don’t do much of that (with the possible exception of music) on LARGE screens, either. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer actually TALKING to people.

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  4. My phone is pretty cool technology. It’s seven years old, and can make AND receive calls AND text messages! Awesome, right?
    I used to be able to see the time on it too, but now the screen’s scratched. But that’s okay, I’m outside a lot, and there’s this thing up in the sky, possibly called iSun, which shows the time of day, except at night. Also I seem to have BodEclock, which sets off an alarm called a YAWN when it’s time to go to sleep.
    Truthfully, I could kinda do without this much technology, and probably won’t replace the phone when it dies, or the BodEclock when I do.

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  5. Gaming consoles are not much better: Microsoft’s XboxOne was touted at launch as the only accessory one would need to watch TV, connect with friends and social media, judge you on your BMI, and lots more…while conveniently ignoring what it really should have been about: gaming. (It does that, but there have been glitches.)

    Tech companies want their gadget to be all things to all people. What some of them sadly fail to realize is that, sometimes, simple really is best. 😦

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