If you like zombie movies, or are busy preparing for a zombie apocalypse despite the real apocalypse happening RIGHT NOW with a global pandemic, then you have to ask yourself: Are zombies even possible?
You know, before you write a $400,000 check for that bunker in your backyard, maybe think about whether zombies are a thing.
Just a thought.
While the chance of humans rising from the dead to walk again is 0.00001 percent, with the apparent exception of Herman Cain (what the hell, Twitter?), there are a couple of kinda-sorta plausible scientific paths to living zombies. We’re still talking microscopic, and I stand by my earlier posts about practical tips for the apocalypse.
Read the first post here. DO IT NOW.
But yeah, there’s real science on this. Different species of fungus attack insects, taking over their brains to make them do silly, suicidal things that benefit the fungus. We knew about the fungus that takes over ants.
This is so horribly great it was the premise of a great novel–THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS–which they turned into a movie.
Now comes word of a fungus that commandeers the brains of cicadas, and yes, the scientist actually says in this story that the fungus turns the insects into “flying salt shakers of death.”
You can’t beat that line.
There are other parasites out there which are total nightmare fuel, like the five billion species of evil monsters that sneak into the gills of fish, eat their tongue, then stick around as the fish’s replacement tongue. Oh hi, don’t mind me.
This thing belongs in STARSHIP TROOPERS 2: THE BUGS INVADE OUR OCEAN.
But yeah, the fungus zombie thing is crazy. And if you dig deeper, there are more examples of this. A microbe that makes rats lose their fear of cats, because that helps the mouse get eaten and spread more of the microbe. (Humans can get infected by this, too.) Wasps that sting spiders with mind-control drugs, then lay eggs inside the spider so the little baby wasps can eat the spider while it builds a web to protect the little wasps before it dies.
Jeff Goldblum told us life always finds a way.
Nobody said it would always be pretty.
The Red Pen of Doom 