Forget the latest iPhone and iPads, which are old and busted.
Here’s the new hotness: The L-pad.
Massive 16.3″ screen size.
Retina display? Try ATOMIC RESOLUTION.
Grab a magnifying glass, beer glass, telescope, electron microscope – grab anything you want and there isn’t a single pixel in sight.
Tired of long boot times? Sick of apps updating themselves every week, sucking up mondo megabytes?
Say goodbye to monthly bills for your data plan.
Say hello to instant on and instant off.
The ultimate in compatibility
Backward compatible? Come on, that’s easy.
What else out there is forward compatible? Nothing–except the L-pad.
The L-Pad is compatible with every writing instrument known to man, not just some officially branded L-pad stylus, which we believe is a fancy word for “expensive plastic pen without any ink.”
Whatever you want, use it: pencils, ballpoints, crayons, we don’t care. Go wild.
Sketch a sunset or compose a symphony.
Write a mash note or the Great American Novel.
Draw a house.
Draw a battleship.
DRAW YOUR OWN SPACESHIP.
If you want to double your screen size, the L-Pad has your back. Do it.
Double it again.
Go crazy and turn an entire wall of your office into one giant screen.
Durable, renewable and edible
If the screen gets wet, no problem.
Every single L-pad screen can be recycled, because we love the planet.
Non-toxic and biodegradable. You can eat the L-pad, if you really want.
Think you could crumple up what’s inside an iPad, stick it in your mouth and chew? No. That stuff would kill you, if you had any teeth left.
Portable and affordable and other -ables we can’t even list
The L-pad is for the working people and middle class, not the wealthy few. Everybody can buy the same fully functional L-pad.
They’re so affordable, Costco has stacks of L-pads for sale.
Buy 24 – that’s right, two dozen — monstrous 16.3-inch L-pads for six bucks.
Keep one and give 23 away as gifts. You’ll still have an extra $500 in your wallet instead of sending that cash to Apple and writing a check to Verizon or Sprint every month.
Want something more portable?
Pick up a dozen L-pads Minis, each with a 9.4-inch screen. They even come in fashion colors, no extra charge.
Stick them in your car, your man-purse, your European carryall or your Indiana Jones satchel.
Give them to your mother-in-law, your co-workers or random people on the street.
The L-pad never needs to update its OS.
It will never ask you for a password, tell you it’s incompatible with that particular pen or lock up because you forgot some insane combination of upper case letters, special characters and numbers.
And if you sit on an L-pad, it’ll only bend, costing you nothing, instead of breaking and putting a giant hole in your wallet.
Because the L-pad is there for you, brother. Whenever and wherever you need it.
The Red Pen of Doom 