As a pookie, it felt perfectly natural to learn about gorillas, pythons and such from hour-long documentaries starring a kind, grandfatherly gentlemen bankrolled by an insurance company in Nebraska.
Today, we fire up the interwebs to watch 2-minute videos with Randle losing his mind as he extols the insane bravery of honey badgers–or some random man with a killer Morgan Freeman impression narrates how the cuttlefish do.
I still love animals, documentaries and documentaries about animals. So it warmed my heart to learn of 31 brand new species discovered by amateur naturalists, ordinary people who wouldn’t dream of bestowing their finds with 47-syllable names derived from Latin.
Here’s the list, with actual photographic evidence of each new species:
1. Arrow Pigs
2. Murder Logs
3. Danger Noodles
4. Disco Chickens
5. Puppers (aka Doggos or Floofs)
6. Murder Torpedoes
7. Cat Bears
8. Sky Puppers
9. Long Horses
10. Sea Raviolis
11. Holiday Chickens
12. Torpedo Puppers
13. Catsnakes
14. 14. Spiky Floofs
15. Tyrannosaurus Deer
16. Wobble Sticks
17. Leather Tanks
18. Freedom Gliders
19. Night Squirrels
20. Beach Chickens
21. Subwoofers
22. Danger Water Cows
23. Pantless Thunder Geese
24. Panda Whales
25. Fluffy Tree Rats
26. Danger Zebras
27. Nopes
28. Sea Catsnakes
29. Formal Chickens
30. Hot Moose
31. Death Floofs
The Red Pen of Doom 