funny ads – The Red Pen of Doom

You have to see this hype video for somebody selling their 1994 Geo Metro.

I need you all to see the hype video that this person made to sell their 1994 Geo Metro

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— Soren Spicknall (@sorenspicknall.bsky.social) June 3, 2025 at 6:07 PM

https://embed.bsky.app/static/embed.js

Why does this work so damn well? Here’s my theory: tension.

First, the car has to be lame. The lamer the thing you’re selling, the more creative room you get to hype it to the moon.

If you did this with an old Mustang, or anything remotely good, it would crash and burn. You’re piling cool on top of cool. Too much. No tension at all.

Second, the better the hype job, the more tension you create. In this case, it’s a little understated and Miami Vice, and all we need are Crocket and Tubbs driving around with In the Air Tonight blasting.

Now, the text that goes with the Geo Metro video is not as amazing, which made me sad. It’s okay.

But hey, the text does the job. Reliable if not hilarious. Just like a Geo Metro.

I have experience with this art form. The blog started when I needed to sell a Hyundia Elantra and found out craiglist ads expire. Needed home for it.

Here is that ad and my first blog post: Epic Black Car deserves new owner, are you worthy?

Yes, I should have shot a video with that car, which was a classic beater. Cheap but reliable. Never let me down.

Here’s the truth: I bought a second black Hyundai Elantra in 2013 after a failed experiment with a black Ford Fiesta that leaked despite being new. Compared to the 2003 version, Epic Black Car II was a step up: sunroof, leather seats, cruise control. Not Corinthian leather, but close. Pleather.

After I sold that Elantra, we bought a third Elantra, a hybrid and a freaking spaceship compared to the first two. Not intentional. Test drove other things. So that dealership can just set their calendar, because every ten years, the prophecy requires this Swede to walk in and buy the latest Elantra.

IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD.

This is a whole genre of ads and videos: “Buy this thing that’s so lame, it circles back to cool.”

Here’s a classic.