1 PUMP LOTUS will never sell out

A conversation with Tyler B., bass guitarist and lead singer.

Question: Why did you get into punk rock?

Tyler B: Listen, this isn’t just a rusted ’83 VW van packed with second-hand amps and people who haven’t showered for 72 hours. This is a vehicle stuffed with music, dreams, and truths that you’ll never get from Corporate Rock, which should be illegal. You know, a class B misdemeanor or whatever.

Exhibit 1 is Nickelback. The People rest, your Honor.

That’s why we will never sign with a label or take paper money of any sort. Barter, man. Barter all the way, because banks are just one more way they try to control your life with debt and paperwork.

For playing a gig, we only accept the following: bags of burritos, liters of tequila, and gallons of diesel for the van.

Question: I listened to your demo tape, and hear your first real single will debut soon. What can you tell us about that?

Tyler B: Yeah, DECAF comes out this Friday and we’re doing it live at Hunter’s graduation kegger. Still tweaking the lyrics, though I can give you a taste.

The Devil drinks decaf

He’ll fill your cup

Eight ounces of nothing


We’re deconstructing pop music, see, like starting with the chorus. Then I do this spoken-word interlude with Tyler B. just plucking a single note:

I see you all. I know you’re always tired and sleepy as hell. Working two jobs and still can’t pay the rent. Ask for a raise, boss tells you to get bent. Everybody told you to keep your head down, work hard, follow the rules. But the game’s rigged, you can’t win, and all you want to do is scream.

Imma tell you something: you gotta focus on the little things you can control. Like what you put in your body. No concoctions from Dow Chemical, or any of that random herbal shit in Red Bull nobody understands.

You need coffee, black and beautiful. Maybe a little brown sugar and cow goodness.

But that’s it. Screw artificial sweeteners and that coffee creamer powder nonsense. Who even knows what’s in there?
And decaf? That’s just a liquid lie.

Then we blow up the chorus again. No melody whatsoever, no bridge. Chorus and spoken-word all the way. Okay, except for the drum solo. That’s a banger.

Question: I see there’s a Tyler A. listed as lead singer, and you seem to have a Tyler theme going on. What message are you sending by choosing those stage names, and who picked them?

Tyler B: Our mommas. Not a joke, okay? Those are our real names. Half the kids I grew up with are named Tyler or Hunter.

Also, after the thing at Mount Hood last weekend, we are searching for a new lead guitarist, unless the park rangers find him first. If you can play three chords, you could be in. Hit me up.

One thought on “1 PUMP LOTUS will never sell out

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.