Listen: I love zombie movies as much as anybody, even though they hit the over-saturation point about three years ago. And even as a fan, if you put a Glock to my noggin and started counting backward from 10, asking if I believed zombies could really happen, I would tell you nopitey-nope-nope.

Because zombies are just fun. There is no virus that will rampage through morgues and cemeteries to make the dead walk again. There’s simply no plausible way to move the Possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse up to 1 percent, much less 10 percent.

But that was before scientists took a bunch of pig brains from a slaughterhouse and BROUGHT THEM BACK TO LIFE.

Yeah. They did that. 

Watch the video, then we’ll chat.

So, we’re not talking zombies yet. Not quite.

Though you can’t take comfort from the fact they didn’t get any brain waves or consciousness, seeing how the scientists were pumping these zombie pig brains full of drugs that suppress brain waves and consciousness.

HOWEVER: Put that Glock to my forehead and start the countdown again and my answer totally changes. I’m not saying “Zero percent chance of zombies” anymore.

Because we are already at “zombie pig brains,” which truly isn’t that far from “zombie pigs.” And once we have zombie pigs, there’s nothing to stop mad scientists or evil dictators from saying, hey, why should I waste money on funerals for all my dead henchmen or soldiers? Inject them with that zombie pig stuff and send them back to the front lines to fight and die again, And again, and again.

There’s still a long way to go from zombie pig brains to zombies. It’s just not that long anymore.