The Red Pen of Doom

Conventional wisdom about writing is conventionally wrong.

Top 5 reasons why GO 4 IT by Corey Feldman is so bad, it circles back to good

corey feldman dancing and singing

Corey Feldman’s live performance on the TODAY show was supposed to be a big opening for his new album, Angelic to the Core, and yes, that is punny.

You may remember Corey from his career as a child actor: The Goonies, Gremlins, Stand By Me, The Lost Boys and five zillion other movies and TV shows.

But now, he’s going to be remembered for this performance on live national television.

Let’s take apart this music video and get into why it’s so unintentionally entertaining–and what Corey should do next.

Reason No. 5: The Angels

There are two real choices in the big, famous music scene: a real band where everybody contributes–or a famous singer with a rotating cast of backup musicians and dancers.

Corey at least is trying to give his backup musicians a theme and identity. It’s just not quite right, as if he watched some Robert Palmer and decided to run with that theme, except all they had at the Party Store were some angel wings and sexy nurse costumes.

Reason No. 4: Doc Ice

Long ago, at a music industry conference at a resort far, far away, it was decided that all pop, rock and metal bands should have a guest rapper show up halfway through the song for a rapping interlude.

Macklemore does a reverse version of this, as a rapper who keeps getting amazing singers to do old-fashioned singing interludes–and he keeps on nailing song after song. Because he and Ryan Lewis are musical geniuses.

Corey’s song doesn’t really need a rap interlude, and it just feels random. Which fits the theme: this is a random song full of the bizarre.

Reason No. 3: Corey’s outfit

When this song starts, Corey’s wearing a sparkly black hoodie, as if he and Justin Bieber hung out for the weekend with Darth Sidious.

Then he rips off the hoodie to reveal his face and hair, except it doesn’t really come off right. Awkward.

Reason No. 2: Corey’s look

Go back to the video and check out Corey’s face and hair.

I swear, it’s like Legolas from Lord of the Rings with a little Charlie Sheen thrown in there.

Can you see it? I can’t unsee it.

Image result for charlie sheen

Reason No. 1: The dance moves

They’re unique. I mean that as a compliment.

There are so many talented singers and dancers out there, it’s easy to fire up YouTube and find all kinds of music videos with great dancing, either by the singer or the professional backups.

What’s rare is somebody famous enough, and bold enough, to do something like this on live TV.

Is he a great dancer? Not even close.

What makes it entertaining, though, is how much he commits. Corey’s not screwing around with the dance moves. He’s not trying to spice up the song by moving his hips once and a while. Corey goes for it, hard, and holds nothing back, with entire dance solos built into the song.

And I can’t quite describe the dance style. Haven’t seen it before. Maybe, “Angry Michael Jackson after a Nine Inch Nails concert”? Something like that.

Verdict: Completely watchable.

Here’s what I’d say to Corey, though, after he’s hurt by the response to this video: Embrace it.

You’re not a traditionally trained singer and dancer, and there’s no point in you trying to win that game.

Do your thing.

What you did on live TV took guts. Most people won’t like it. Just don’t learn the wrong lesson by quitting, or by trying to become more competent and boring. That won’t work at all. Let your freak flag fly. Because hey, it was entertaining–and if you tone it down trying to appease the masses, you won’t please anybody at all.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

About Guy Bergstrom

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot.

One comment on “Top 5 reasons why GO 4 IT by Corey Feldman is so bad, it circles back to good

  1. George Fripley
    September 20, 2016

    You wait until I get a video done – I reckon could match that level of dancing…might not quite make the vocals though

    Good on him for getting up there…the world needs people to get up there and give it a go

    Like

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