Author Archives: Guy Bergstrom

About Guy Bergstrom

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a novel that was a finalist for some award.

EXPLODING KITTENS is what card games should be

How can you not love this?

The Oatmeal is a local man turned cartoon phenom, and all he touches turns to gold. Including this kickstarter campaign, which has raised five bazillion dollars.

Even though these three men could grab that cash and run away to a life of beaches and margaritas, I hope they make this game. It’s a lot better than Go Fish.

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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Filed under 6 Friendly Friday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals, Muffin chokers

Top 3 reasons why the new, extended trailer for AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON rocks so hard

1) It’s funny, and not in a forced way, like a Saturday Night Live skit that repeats the same joke seventeen times.

The actors seem natural and relaxed.

2) The director lets this scene play out.

Today, that’s rare, with directors eager to bust out the CGI and blow up more stuff that only exists as pixels on giant servers.

Josh Whedon figures he has enough excitement packed into the movie and gives us a long, funny breather. Which is wonderful, because not rushing the payoff for this scene makes is far more powerful.

3) That payoff is amazing, and a completely different emotion than how the scene started.

Ultron showing up like this is not only a surprise, but a shock, and his lines are simply perfect. Unsettling and dark and wonderful.

Well done, Josh the Whedon, well done. A far better trailer than the usual Michael Bay explosion-fest that’s required of every big-budget action movie.

 

Top 11 posts about the Big Screen and Such, Because Top 10 Lists are Common and therefore Boring:

The Red Pen of Doom dissects every Batman movie IN HISTORY

Top 5 reasons EDGE OF TOMORROW works — and why it redeems Tom the Cruise

THE WOLVERINE proves Writing Law #1 – Less is More

Seattle superheroes challenged by supervillain Rex Velvet

Hollywood: Sidekicks do NOT need their own stupid sidekicks

Seven movie clichés that must be NUKED FROM ORBIT

MAN OF STEEL and the Invincible Hero Problem

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS: Why it works

Big, Beautiful Movies with Sad, Stupid Endings

THE AVENGERS + THE BREAKFAST CLUB = AWESOMESAUCE

Like Godzilla in Tokyo, PACIFIC RIM smashes all expectations

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

Leave a comment

Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Big Screen

Just the world, the galaxy and the universe set to music

Illusion of Lights: A Journey into the Unseen from Goldpaint Photography on Vimeo.

So this man and his wife quit their jobs, sold every possession and went on the road to shoot epic videos.

Not gritty urban scenes or dogs shaking water off them in slow motion. Nope.

They’re shooting the world, the galaxy and the universe, using a camera rig that (a) shoots all night while (b) changing the shot and (c) switching how you see things, forever.

Kudos to you, Brad and Marci Goldpaint. Give us moar moar MOAR.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

4 Comments

Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

Meanwhile, in Russia

So this is an actual sport, and yes, that’s Vladimir Putin’s daughter dancing like it’s 1985.

Back in 1980’s, competitive aerobics was a big thing for about two seconds right when when Sylvester Stallone (5’10”) pretended he could beat up Swedish studmuffin Dolph Lundgren (6’5) in a big U.S.vs. Russia stand-in for the Cold War.

In 1987, Crystal Light had national championships in team aerobic dancing, and folks on the interwebs make fun of it today. I probably have shown people clips from back then. Yet this new Russian video made me take a second look. You should, too.

See? The American version, sure, we can say it’s seems silly now, but those men and women actually could dance and did hard physical stuff that was entertaining. They didn’t repeat themselves over and over like Putin’s daughter kicking sideways before doing the whole Throw the Cheerleader in the Air and Catch Her trick seventeen times. Difficult? Yeah. Impressive? Maybe twice.

So in the battle of Cheesy Aerobic Dance Sports Similar to Ice Skating in that Only Judges Can Know Who Wins, you have to give this round to the Americans. (Yes, ice skating is not a sport, even though it is hard. Neither is bodybuilding, even though it is hard, too. The more audiences are clueless about who wins until judges reveal the answer, the more it’s like a reality show where producers are pulling all the strings and you get scandals were judges are bribed to pick the right winners.)

What’s the verdict with U.S. vs. Russia competitive aerobics? We did it first and we did it better, even if Russia’s president has his daughter involved or not.*

What other strange sport-like objects deserve scrutiny? Hit me in the comments or the Twitter.

*Maybe if he showed up at halftime, shirtless and riding a tiger, the score would be closer.

Note: updated post after putting up wrong second video. 

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

2 Comments

Filed under Animals, monsters and monstrous animals, Muffin chokers

Epic Announcer Man does the classic Seahawks-Packers game

Is it the Best NFL Game of All Time?

I’d say so. There might be games where teams came back from a more lopsided score. But not when the stakes were a trip to the Super Bowl.

Here’s that narrator with the Voice of God, the kind of guy who does movie trailers with his booming voice, as he does that crazy 2015 NFC Championship Game, the miracle in Seattle.

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

1 Comment

Filed under The Glowing Tube

Two-point conversion: Hawktown Funk plus Bad Lip Reading NFL 2015

How bad is Seahawks fever right now?

Crazy bad.

Turn on the radio or pick up a newspaper and it’s all Seahawks, all the time.

My wife steals the sports pages from me, every morning, and now has favorites among sports columnists. This itself is a miracle. Radio stations are doing contests for best Seahawks song and the fans are riffing off Ice, Ice Baby and sixteen bazillion other songs, old or new. It’s a good time.

Here are two great clips from the series of tubes.

Hawktown Funk

Bad Lip Reading NFL 2015

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

1 Comment

Filed under The Glowing Tube

How Obama’s 2015 State of the Union tries to break the mold

President Barack Obama delivers the State of the Union address in the House Chamber at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2015. (Official White House Photo By Chuck Kennedy)

President Barack Obama delivers the State of the Union address in the House Chamber at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2015. (Official White House Photo By Chuck Kennedy)

State of the Union speeches are tough. Here’s why:

(1) By tradition, you have to lay out a laundry list of policy ideas.

(2) Laundry lists are inherently boring.

(3) By law, each president is required give this speech and to have guests in the audience, sitting next to the First Lady or First Man (yes, we will have a lady president one day, so this title needs to be discussed), and those people in the audience get talked about at some point in the speech. I believe Ronald the Reagan started this.

(4) Okay, giving a State of the Union speech every year is not actually a law. It’s really in the U.S. Constitution, as explained here.

(5) The audience is made up of members of Congress, which means half of them will applaud if the president successfully pronounces “America” while members of the other party will sit on their hands and sneer even if you go full Oprah on them and announce that free puppies and tax breaks for each of their districts are sitting UNDER EVERY SEAT. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday, Speechwriting