About

About this blog

Conventional wisdom about writing is typically half-baked nonsense that: (a) takes 394-pages of text to explain, in insane detail, some writer’s system involving 3 x5 index cards, yellow highlighters and Lazy Susans, (b) tells writers to find their happy place and write at the same time every day, or (c) obsesses about microscopic details like split infinitives and dangling modifiers.*

This blog is meant to cut through all that garbage.

It’s a place for writers of all types — novelists and journalists, speechwriters and screenwriters — to strip away the window dressing and theories, to get down to the essential guts of all good writing. Which really is editing and structure.

Also, it’s an excuse to talk about the real reasons why Snooki is famous, how creative folks should use free ink and airtime to bust through and why Norwegian zombie movies can teach us Very Important Things about storytelling.

I hope you find the blog useful, and entertaining. My promise to you: I shall never be Boring.**

*The Dangling Modifiers would be a great name for a punk rock band.

**Though it won’t be boring, the blog is safe for work and any random pookies you have, which means please do your part  by keeping it clean in the comment section. No photos of Men in Kilts who’ve lost their kilts or comments that use all of the FCC‘s Seven Dirty Words  as adjectives, nouns, verbs, adverbs and prepositions.  I don’t want to be the Comment Police, though I do enjoy deleting comments that are TSTL. 

Also: It’s true this blog started out randomly, when I posted a Craigslist ad to sell my beater Hyundai and learned that craigslist kills your ad after two weeks. The ad needed a home and my wicked smart sister said, “WordPress, you fool.” That silly ad went viral. Here it is: Epic Black Car deserves good owner; are you worthy?

Also-also: I hate semi-colons, so that may be the first and last time they ever get used here.

Also-cubed: Now, I do this for fun, and for free, so another possible title for this silly blog would be The Land of Crazy First Drafts. Though I have a degree in journalism, and have won awards and such, this blog is not copy edited or anything. I HAVE NO TIME. If you see horrible offenses against the English language, please shout. By shouting, I mean “post a comment.” Thank you.

About me

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

For the Serious types, who want a Serious bio:

• Journalism degree from Western Washington University, where I was editor-in-chief of the paper of news and graduated No. 1 in my class. Went to nationals in speech and debate and helped coached a HS debate team. Won awards as a reporter and editor, where I chased mayhem that included political scandals, fires, floods, murders and a bumbling serial killer who managed to get away with it all. Interviewed governors, US senators and writers like Ann Rule and Barry Eisler. Also: ate industrial amounts of Top Ramen, because reporters, they don’t MAKE ANY MONIES.
• Contributing writer for The New York Times about.com, doing more than 210 posts as their expert on public relations, publicity and scandals. Now a contributing editor to Criminal Element and The Big Thrill. Apparently, I like to contribute and edit, or contribute while editing.
• Have written 2.94 gazillion newspaper stories, speeches, opeds, freelance pieces and such, maybe because I type crazy fast.  My sister is a genius screenwriter in LA who won a Nicholl Fellowship from the Academy (world’s biggest screenwriting competition, with the fellowship paying $30,000 or whatever). She’s taught me MANY THINGS. Thanks, sis. You rock.

Artistic types

In the beginning, I shot my own photos for papers of news, using horrible manual cameras and such that used this stuff we called “film.” It came in rolls.

Now I shoot with a Nikon of Infinite Beauty (a D3100). That thing will do your taxes. Just had my first photo show, Pieces of the World – shots from Sweden, Iceland, France, Belgium, Alaska, Hawaii, India and Dubai, all printed on canvas and framed. If you’ve never printed your stuff on canvas, turn off the Series of Tubes and print your favorite photo on canvas RIGHT NOW. The internets will still be around when you come back.

Also, if you know photography tricks, drop me a line on the Twitter  or the comment sections, so we can talk smack about cameras and pretend to know what ISO settings really are.

To contact me

Try @speechwriterguy on the Twitter — or leave a witty comment on a random post, just to see if I’m paying attention.