I adore cheesy action movies, and BOSS LEVEL with Frank Grillo is amazing and perfect and wonderful.
So when I saw the trailer for KING OF KILLERS, sure, it’s on Netflix, I’m not blowing three hours of my life and $50 on tickets and popcorn to see the thing. Let’s give it a go.
Here’s the trailer. Push the buttons.
Not gonna win any Oscars but fun trash, right? Which is what we all need sometimes. I don’t come home from work looking to have my brain challenged, my world-view changed, and my body drained of tears after watching a three-hour masterpiece of pain and misery.
Here’s the problem: you don’t see a glimpse of Frank Grillo until way, way into the film. What you get instead is a dude who looks enough like Grillo to confuse you, and this man is obviously the hero.
Which is a big, big problem.
First, the whole setup of the movie is Grillo vs everyone, and the narrative questions are simple: will Grillo live or die? If he dies, by who’s hand, and why? If everyone else dies, are they paying for their sins?
Second, there’s no way the audience is getting all this time with the Grillo-ish character for him to die first, or ever. This main character also gets the most cliched motivations possible: his wife dies in a shootout when she’s at one of his jobs randomly, and he only takes the new job vs. Grillo because his daughter is in the hospital and needs expensive care.
A half hour or whatever into this thing, a room full of killers finally gets introduced to their client and their target: Grillo, who wants the challenge of taking on the best.
The only actor I recognize in the room is Georges St. Pierre, an amazing UFC champ and a good action-movie choice. Like in this clip, which has a special bonus: Frank Grillo!
And here we get the third fatal storytelling mistake: each assassin randomly goes to face Grillo, and one of the first to head out and die is…the best actor, George St. Pierre.
Does he get a beautiful fight scene? No. He displays zero hand-to-hand skills and uses a shotgun for some reason. The poor man dies like a chump. You could’ve hired any random actor to play this bit, and it’s a waste.
You can guess how the rest goes. The other killers die while the main character lives in the end, gets his money, and saves his daughter.
No surprises. 0/10, do not recommend. HOWEVER: this movie contrasts directly and completely with the brilliant movie THE HUNT starring Betty Gilpin, who is a natural treasure and also star of AMERICAN PRIMEVAL, which is freaking amazing, go watch it.
The audience is constantly surprised in THE HUNT from the start. Just when you think oh, this is the main character, and follow them around for a bit with the other characters in the background, that character dies and gets replaced by another. And another. We finally wind up with Betty Gilpin’s character as the focus, and she keeps on surprising us–with her actions, her dialogue, and her backstory.
My acid test for a movie isn’t, “Did I enjoy that?” It’s “Would I happily watch it again, and again, or would you have to hand me a paper bag stuffed with purple euros to sit through that sucker once more?”
I have watched THE HUNT many times and would see it again tonight. You could not pay me enough to watch KING OF KILLERS again.
Also: here’s the trailer for AMERICAN PRIMEVAL, which is raw and brutal and seven separate flavors of awesomesauce.
The Red Pen of Doom 