Listen, I know you have seven different subscriptions to Netflix and Hulu and all that, yet struggle to find things of real value to watch and maybe binge the last season of Great British Bakeoff once again because the new season hasn’t dropped yet.

I have been there. Am plowing through clips of Justified on the youtube because I don’t have whatever subscription is necessary to watch entire episodes of that thing. And yes, all these subs are costing us the same or more as the old cable bundles we hate. Say hello to the new boss, same as the old boss.

HOWEVER: There is hope in the form of great movies, little gems hiding in the vast archives of places like Netflix, and this is about one such glittery diamond with subtitles and a rocking soundtrack. It’s getting remastered and re-released on its 25th anniversary or whatever.

Here, watch the trailer.

Somehow, I never saw this movie until yesterday, which is tragic. Who will pay for my therapy?

I’m going to lay out all the reason you need to fire up the interwebs and watch this thing.

Reason No. 1: A great story

It’s common to find movies with one cool idea that they (a) completely pound to death like it’s a SNL skit, or (b) abandon halfway through because they don’t know how to stick the landing. We also run into (c) action movies and superhero blockbusters that flop because they shoeved seven different screenwriters in the kitchen and the studio edits turned it into a lifeless $350 million mess.

RUN LOLA RUN has a beautiful story that’s surprising and interesting. You want to know what happens times three, because that’s how many times the story loops back.

Reason No. 2: Re-watchable like hell

My acid test of whether a movie or novel is good cannot be simpler. Would I watch it again, or read it again?

Then I have an even more acidic test, like the blood of those monsters in Alien that can eat through deck after deck of a starship: would I pay money to watch it again, or read it again, or would you have to pay ME a pile of monies to suffer through it?

I would pay monies to watch RUN LOLA RUN again.

Time-loop movies like this are rare but not unique. You can certainly do them wrong. However, this one is like GROUNDHOG DAY and EDGE OF TOMORROW in how repeated viewings reward you with new little details.

Reason No. 3: You do NOT have to pay monies to watch it again

I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve paid an insane amount to rent a new-ish movie online, only to regret that choice about 10 minutes into the stinker.

Sure, you may not have HBO Max or Disney+, but I bet $20 you have Netflix, and this sucker is free on there. Don’t need to rent it, buy it, lease it, or whisper sweet words to it whenever you want to fire this thing up again. Make some popcorn and go wild.

Reason No. 4: It’s in German, with subtitles, and you WILL NOT CARE

Remember when you watched black-and-white French existentialist movies, maybe in college after taking your first philosophy classes? Subtitles can be a pain, especially when people talk fast.

This movie does subtitles exactly right, and nobody really talks too fast, or gets into silly complicated pretentious nonsense about the malleability of reality and the illusion of choice and the artificial construct of laws when they are simply an exercise of the monopoly on force.

RUN LOLA RUN gets into cool ideas and conflicts by showing you them. You could turn the subtitles off, listen to the German dialogue, and still figure out 99 percent of the movie. (Note: I lived in the Germany as a pookie, and the Holland, and took German both as a pookie and in HS, and yes, it’s a complex and interesting language, and yes, I’m impressed that you know what schadenfreude is, but you will not need any of that to enjoy this movie, and I’ve forgotten all my German except the buying of things and the swearing.)

Reason No. 5: Reality shows are probably more scripted than this movie, which is pure and good

Reality shows are not real. Even the ones that are somewhat connected to reality and not the script wishes of producers are so heavily edited that it’s a deceptive depiction of what actually happened. Back to the Great British Bakeoff–do you really think the footage they show five seconds before “time’s up” was shot five seconds before the deadline. Bahahahaha!

RUN LOLA RUN does not cheat, like Chrisopher Nolan in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES and MEMENTO and every other movie he does that is not historical Oscar bait.

RUN LOLA RUN is gritty and pure and has no CGI green screen nonsense, no artificial sweeteners, and no silly tricks. It does what it says on the tin. Go watch it.