Just what Florida needs: Pythons interbreeding to create Super Snakes

Florida is the epicenter of weird news, so much so that it’s the only state with (a) it’s own Fark tag and (b) a Twitter handle dedicated to all the crazy headlines which all start with “Florida man” and end with mayhem.

The latest news, however, is more scary than funny.

There are 2.43 bazillion pythons already in Florida, busy killing and eating alligators (yes, not a joke) when they’re not nom-nom-nomming on every bit of fluffy native wildlife they can find.

OK, it’s more like “tens of thousands.” Which isn’t a big comfort.

So if that video didn’t freak you out enough, now we learn that the swamp-loving Burmese pythons are interbreeding with Indian pythons to create Super Snakes.

Yeah, that’s right. Super Snakes that can live What can we do about this? Who will save Florida from the rise of voracious, hybrid Super Snakes?

While this man captures snakes barefoot and barehanded, and we technically have the technology to clone him, I don’t see that as a viable option.

Authorities in Florida have tried offering cash bounties for every captured python to mobilize the population. They’ve tried the opposite approach, hiring a few expert snake hunters.

I think they’ve tried just about everything.

Maybe it’s time to get Florida Man on the case.

Leave a Reply