Tag Archives: Pets

Random Thursday: Cats who open freezers and dogs who fetch COLD BEER

As the owner of a cat and a Hound of the Baskervilles, they are constantly doing things that surprise me.

But my cat doesn’t climb the fridge to open the freezer.

And the HOB doesn’t open the fridge to fetch me a Guinness.

Here’s another woman who’s trained her dog that trick. This is a trend. I expected all sorts of men to be working VERY HARD on “Dog, fetch me a cold one.” I am surprised and impressed.

And now for something brutally useful: how to train your dog to HEEL, which is very, very hard. My vet has bloodhounds who don’t heel. You could strap on rollerblades and have them power you down the highway. The Hound of the Baskervilles also does not understand the concept, because he only has two speeds: (1) stroll and (2) kill. So if you have a heedless hound, or a stubborn pet cougar, tell me if this works. I’m gonna try it.


This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award (PNWA 2013). Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.


Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals