Tag Archives: Music

by | May 6, 2013 · 5:05 pm

HANDLEBARS by Flobots deserves some kind of award

I’ll happily write about a music video if the lyrics are interesting, if the song is great — or the music video tells a story.

Gentle readers, we have hit the trifecta.

These lyrics are interesting, the song is great and the video tells a powerful story.

THE SONG

Thought it was Cake, by the voice and the horns. But no, it’s some band called Flobots. Not the best name. Makes me think of an android version of Flo from the Geico commercials, and I don’t want rock bands selling me insurance. HOWEVER: the name is irrelevant if the lyrics are interesting and the video rocks.

The band Flobots actually has nothing to do with Flo or robots. Discuss.

The band Flobots actually has nothing to do with Flo or robots. Discuss.

THE VIDEO

The usual music video features (1) the band lip-syncing and pretending to play instruments in three different locations with six different costume changes, (2) the lead singer mouthing the words while trying to look cool in sunglasses and slo-mo or (3) all kinds of backup dancers going crazy behind the lead singer.

Instead, we’ve got a music video that doesn’t feature the band AT ALL.

This video tells an actual story, with a beginning, a middle and end. There are setups and payoffs, private stakes and public stakes.

I could geek out about it in a story sense. If professors can base college courses on Star Trek, or Madonna’s cheesy videos, then somebody could use this video do to a flipping dissertation.

Also, the style is great. Reminds me of all the stuff from the Animatrix, which was 9.942 bazillion times better than THE MATRIX: RELOADED and THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS — or whatever the second and third stupid parts of that trilogy were called.

Would I see THE MATRIX again? Sure, anytime. Brilliant movie. Could you shower me with enough purple euros to watch the two sequels again? No. Purple euros would have to join forces with alcohols.

Bottom line: the technical term for this music video is “awesomesauce.”

THE LYRICS

The words are worthy and don’t need a lot of red penning, either to interpret or poke fun. These lyrics abide.

If you’re any kind of writer, or student of the English language, you can take these apart and smile at how they work. Enjoy.

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me, look at me
Hands in the air like its good to be
Alive and I’m a famous rapper
Even when the paths are all crookedy
I can show you how to dosey doe
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to “De Colores”
And “I’m proud to be an American”
Me and my friends saw a platypus
Me and my friends made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want ’cause look

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome
I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me, look at me
Just called to say that its good to be
Alive in such a small world
I’m all curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine
64 miles to the gallon on gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computer survive aquatic
Conditions I know how to run the business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no resistance ’cause

I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
And I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me, look at me
Driving and I won’t stop
And it feels so good to be alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can handout a million vaccinations
Or let em all die from exasperation
Have ‘em all healed from their lacerations
Or have em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don’t like them
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command because

I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
And I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope

And I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Related posts: Music Video Monday’s Greatest Hits

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

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by | January 28, 2013 · 7:07 am

Skid Row, classic hair band from the ’80s

The ’80s were a bizarre mix of ’70s hair and ’50s politics.

HOWEVER: The decade that gave us George Bush the First, Ollie North and  Dan Quayle also gave us the most epic Hair Bands of all time, with grown men growing their hair insanely long, dying it blonde, teasing it up to defy gravity, putting on mascara and squeezing into spandex pants, because hey, that proves how tough and edgy you are.

One of the lesser-known Hair Bands is the irrepressible Skid Row, which had a lead singer with (a) the required feathered blond hair, (b) a raspy rock voice and (c) the best rockstar name ever: Sebastian Bach.

Here are two of Skid Row’s greatest hits. Did they have more than two decent songs? I have no idea. But I actually like these heavy metal ballads. Sebastian the Bach even tries to tell stories with the lyrics, which is a vast improvement upon the usual Justin Bieber / Britney Spears bubblegum pop lyrics along the lines of “Baby baby uh-huh-UH!” — and yes, somebody songwriter got paid to write that.

18 AND LIFE

I REMEMBER YOU

Related posts: Music Video Monday’s Greatest Hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

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by | December 3, 2012 · 7:07 am

I’M ON FIRE by Bruce Springsteen

Music videos typically feature a rock band (a) in concert, (b) playing their instruments in some kind of industrial warehouse or (c) smoking cigarettes and wearing tight jeans as they stroll through the streets of London or whatever.

Such music videos are not creative. THEY BORE ME.

Pop music videos aren’t much better. Oh, look, it’s the bubblegum blonde singer dancing while lip-syncing, and she’s got a bunch of backup dancers trying not to dance way, way better than the singer!

Bruce the Springsteen showed us how it’s done, way back when, with this little music video.

Simple song. Simple lyrics. The camera isn’t flying all over the place. And it tells a story that’s deeper and more interesting than “Baby, baby, I want to be your baby.”

Bruce, I salute you.

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
Oh-oh-oh, I’m on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things I don’t do
I can take you higher
Oh-oh-oh, I’m On Fire I’m on fire

Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the
Middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
Oh-oh-oh, I’m on fire

Related posts: Music Video Monday’s Greatest Hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | September 24, 2012 · 8:08 am

SIMPLE SONG by The Shins

 

Now, the usual music video features (a) some kind of singer or rock band (b) singing and rocking, and possibly trying to (c) dance, though if they can’t dance, the can (d) look tough or (e) let their backup dancers go crazy while the singers and rockers look tough. The toughest part is whether to film in an empty warehouse or on top of a roof.

For pop singers and boy bands, it’s even simpler: they have to sing WHILE dancing, and it doesn’t really matter where.

Music videos that tell a story, like some kind of moving picture, with a script and such, are rare. Because that sort of thing is work, you see, and the rock bands who try  usually shoot for “artsy” and merely slam hard into “the Wall of Pretentious.”

This isn’t quite art, and it doesn’t quite make sense, but it is interesting and different and ambitious. I salute the Shins for aiming high instead of setting up their drums and amps in the parking lot of a vacant K-mart, just to be ironic.

For you musical types, here are the lyrics for you to dissect and decipher:

Well, this is just a simple song,
To say what you done.
I told you ’bout all those fears,
And away they did run.
You sure must be strong,
And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun.

When I was just nine-years-old,
I swear that I dreamt,
Your face on a football field,
And a kiss that I kept,
Under my vest.
Apart from everything,
But the heart in my chest.

Chorus:
I know that things can really get rough,
When you go it alone,
Don’t go thinking you gotta be tough,
And play like a stone.
Could be there’s nothing else in our lives so critical,
As this little home.

My life in an upturned boat,
Marooned on a cliff.
You brought me a great big flood,
And you gave me a lift.
Girl, what a gift.
When you tell me with your tongue,
And your breath was in my lungs,
And we float up through the rift.

Chorus:
I know that things can really get rough,
When you go it alone.
Don’t go thinking you gotta be tough,
And play like a stone.
Could be there’s nothing else in our lives so critical,
As this little home.

Well, this would be a simple song,
To say what you done.
I told you ’bout all those fears,
And away they did run.
You sure must be strong,
When you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun.

Remember walking a mile to your house,
Aglow in the dark?
I made a fumbling play for your heart,
And the act struck a spark.
You wore a charm on the chain that I stole,
Especial for you.
Love’s such a delicate thing that we do,
With nothing to prove,
Which I never knew.

 

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by | September 3, 2012 · 2:15 pm

WILD HORSES by The Sundays

The Sundays are one of those sleeper bands, the kind who don’t have one or two big hits buried in a sea of mediocre songs, but smack that musical fastball into the outfield EVERY FLIPPING TIME.

Here they’re doing a cover of some song by Mick the Jagger or whoever. I’ve learned that Jagger and the Stones that Roll are four guys from Britain who, despite being older than Yoda, still run around the world, holding rock concerts and such where they actually play their own instruments and sing, the fuddy duddies, rather than lip-sync to backing tracks recorded in the studio and auto-tuned so horrifically that T-Pain vows to never again have his voice digitally altered one tiny itty bit.

Also: the lead singer of The Sundays has the voice of an angel and the face of a supermodel.  That never hurts.

Related: Music Video Monday’s greatest hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | July 30, 2012 · 6:07 pm

Music Video Monday: GANGNAM STYLE by Psy

So, I usually find great music videos and go at them with a literary scalpel, like a first-year biology student going after his first frog — or I take insane music videos and make fun of them.

Each method is equally rewarding.

HOWEVER: Sometimes, a random music video pops up that is not one of the pure forms. It’s not insane, insipid or inscrutable. Nor is it beautiful in the standard way.

Every once and a while, something pops up that is both insane AND great.

Like this piece from South Korea, which also proves the point that attitude trumps all. The singer isn’t conventionally good looking. He’s short and out of shape. But oh, he’s got swagger, and it makes him far more charming than a boy-band member with perfect abs who tries very, very hard not to get a hair out of place while he croons.

Typically, I interpret the lyrics of videos. Not this time. Just watch and enjoy.

Related: Music Video Monday’s greatest hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | July 9, 2012 · 5:05 am

Music Video Monday: Iron Maiden on the Ukulele

This one’s for you, Larry of the Palouse.

The two British dudes are not only masters of the ukulele and triangle, they’re pretty funny in the beginning. And they can sing.

Extra-special bonus: the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain doing the theme song from SHAFT.

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by | June 11, 2012 · 5:05 am

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

In my quest to play more music videos than MTV, here’s the latest installment of Music Video Monday.

Jared Leto is the frontman of 30 Seconds to Mars, and he was an actor first. He also directs these music videos, which is why the band’s videos rock so hard. (If you read the credits, the director has a silly name. Post a comment, whoever sees that name first.)

So: here’s the video, which obviously pays deep homage to THE SHINING.

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | June 4, 2012 · 5:05 am

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

Yes, I know that there are rumors that MTV still plays some music videos between the hours of 3 a.m. and 9 a.m., when it’s not doing Jersey Shore marathons or finding the next Heidi Pratt or whatever. MTV used to play videos 24 hours a day. Now all you can watch are country videos on some nearby channel. Do I need country videos about somebody’s dog dying and the transmission on his Chevy going out and his wife leaving with his best friend, and him sure missing his best friend? No. I need a channel that just plays music videos. VH1 doesn’t count.

This video by Fall Out Boy is  a rocking tune with lyrics that nobody understands.

Listen closely. Tell me if you figure out (a) what the lead singer is saying, especially around the chorus and (b) if you can divine any meaning to those words.

Also: there is a parody video that tries to explain the lyrics. Quite funny and well done, though a smidge NSFW. If you fire up the YouTubes, you can probably find it.

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | May 28, 2012 · 5:05 am

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

If you were alive, and breathing, you remember watching this on what we used to call MTV, which played these things called “music videos” instead of endless reality shows starring people from New Jersey who tan a lot.

Sidenote: Sir Tans a Lot would be a funny name for a rapper who made fun of The Situation.

Three things: (1) the hair makes me laugh, (2) the effects seems cheap now and (3) the storytelling in the video is much better than the lyrics of the song.

Check out the lyrics below.  I’ve read them twice. Saw the video a zillion times. The video sort of makes sense. The lyrics, not so much.

TAKE ON ME

by A-Ha

We’re talking away
I don’t know what
I’m to say I’ll say it anyway
Today’s another day to find you
Shying away
I’ll be coming for your love, OK?
Take on me, take me on
I’ll be gone
In a day or two

So needless to say
I’m odds and ends
But that’s me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It’s no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me, take me on
I’ll be gone
In a day or two

Oh the things that you say
Is it life or
Just a play my worries away
You’re all the things I’ve got to
remember
You’re shying away
I’ll be coming for you anyway

Take on me, take me on
I’ll be gone
In a day or two

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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