Tag Archives: music videos

by | May 20, 2013 · 6:14 pm

Four crazy music videos by William Shatner

Captain Kirk sings. A lot.

At least the original does. It’s not clear of Chris Pine likes to pick up the microphone, but William Shatner DOES NOT HESITATE, not even for a nanosecond, and the results are often epic.

Shatner singing ROCKET MAN in 1978

Shatner doing BOHEMIAM RHAPSODY

Shatner singing MY WAY to George Lucas with stormtrooperbackup dancers

Shatner killing SEEKING MAJOR TOM

Related posts
Leonard Nimoy’s insane music video: The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins
Old Spock vs. New Spock
Seven movie clichés that must be NUKED FROM ORBIT
Why new STAR WARS movies by Disney are an achy breaky big mistakey
Hollywood: Sidekicks do NOT need their own stupid sidekicks

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

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by | January 28, 2013 · 7:07 am

Skid Row, classic hair band from the ’80s

The ’80s were a bizarre mix of ’70s hair and ’50s politics.

HOWEVER: The decade that gave us George Bush the First, Ollie North and  Dan Quayle also gave us the most epic Hair Bands of all time, with grown men growing their hair insanely long, dying it blonde, teasing it up to defy gravity, putting on mascara and squeezing into spandex pants, because hey, that proves how tough and edgy you are.

One of the lesser-known Hair Bands is the irrepressible Skid Row, which had a lead singer with (a) the required feathered blond hair, (b) a raspy rock voice and (c) the best rockstar name ever: Sebastian Bach.

Here are two of Skid Row’s greatest hits. Did they have more than two decent songs? I have no idea. But I actually like these heavy metal ballads. Sebastian the Bach even tries to tell stories with the lyrics, which is a vast improvement upon the usual Justin Bieber / Britney Spears bubblegum pop lyrics along the lines of “Baby baby uh-huh-UH!” — and yes, somebody songwriter got paid to write that.

18 AND LIFE

I REMEMBER YOU

Related posts: Music Video Monday’s Greatest Hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

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by | October 1, 2012 · 8:08 am

GOTYE played by robots or whatever

This is shockingly well done and fully geektastic.

Related:

SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW by Gotye

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | September 3, 2012 · 2:15 pm

WILD HORSES by The Sundays

The Sundays are one of those sleeper bands, the kind who don’t have one or two big hits buried in a sea of mediocre songs, but smack that musical fastball into the outfield EVERY FLIPPING TIME.

Here they’re doing a cover of some song by Mick the Jagger or whoever. I’ve learned that Jagger and the Stones that Roll are four guys from Britain who, despite being older than Yoda, still run around the world, holding rock concerts and such where they actually play their own instruments and sing, the fuddy duddies, rather than lip-sync to backing tracks recorded in the studio and auto-tuned so horrifically that T-Pain vows to never again have his voice digitally altered one tiny itty bit.

Also: the lead singer of The Sundays has the voice of an angel and the face of a supermodel.  That never hurts.

Related: Music Video Monday’s greatest hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | August 27, 2012 · 1:35 pm

HO HEY by The Lumineers

This is a simple little song with a simple little video that still manages to ROCK THE HOUSE.

Also, I don’t really hear much of a difference between the Ho! and the Hey! parts, but hey, that’s artistic license and such.

Also-also: There’s something of a trend of Mumford and Son types, musicians wearing suspenders while playing folksy rock that involves (a) a banjo, (b) a bass and (c) harmonicas or whatever.

This is a good thing, though it will certainly snowball into some kind of trend where record executives start signing up folks bands with accordians instead of amplifiers faster than an aspiring writer can tell you about their YA series that is NOT inspired — they swear — by Harry Potter or The Hunger Games, because they have a school of witches, not wizards, and the zombies show up on page 392.

Also-cubed: As for the controversy over whether The Lumineers (original band name: The Night Lights) are singing “You’re my sweetheart” or “You’re my sweet home” — the answer is, “sweet heart.”

Here’s the video. Watch it. DO IT NOW, because YouTube / the Google needs your clicks and money or whatever before their stock starts doing the Facebook nosedive.

For word nerds around the world, the lyrics:

(Ho!) I’ve been trying to do it right
(Hey!) I’ve been living a lonely life
(Ho!) I’ve been sleeping here instead
(Hey!)I’ve been sleeping in my bed,
(Ho!) sleeping in my bed (Hey!)
(Ho!)

(Ho!) So show me family
(Hey!) Or the blood that I would bleed
(Ho!) I don’t know where I belong
(Hey!) I don’t know where I went wrong
(Ho!) But I can write a song
(Hey!)

I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweet

(Ho!)
(Hey!)
(Ho!)
(Hey!)

(Ho!) I don’t think you’re right for him
(Hey!) Leave the world it might have been
(Ho!) Took a bus to china town
(Hey!) I’ll be standing on canal
(Ho!) And bowery (hey!)
(Ho!) She’d be standing next to me (hey!)

I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart

And love, we need it now
Let’s hope for some
Cause oh, we’re bleeding out

I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart
I belong with you, you belong with me
You’re my sweetheart

(Hey!)
(Ho!)
(Hey!)

Related: Music Video Monday’s greatest hits

Insane music video + lyrics – EXCELLENT HORSE-LIKE LADY

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN by Fall Out Boy

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Florence + The Machine

THE KILL by 30 Seconds to Mars

TAKE ON ME by A-Ha

ENTER THE NINJA by Die Antwoord

COUNTDOWN by Beyonce and some genius student in a snuggie

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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by | August 25, 2012 · 11:22 am

Journalists just wanna have fun

As a reformed journalist, I can tell you secret things.

Number One: Coffee.

If you want to make a reporter smile, or an editor not growl at you, feed them industrial amounts of coffee.

Number Two: Stress requires unstressing.

Journalists do a stressful job for tiny amounts of monies, and they’re under the Most Insane Deadline Pressure Known to Man, which makes them look for ways to unwind.

Here are my favorite journalists finding ways to unstress.

First we’ve got Bob Herzog.

Bob’s a TV reporter from Local 12 in Cincinatti who took the thankless job of “Traffic Reporter, A Job We Sometimes Have Interns Do” and turned it onto a “Dancing King of the Glowing Tube.”

Then we’ve got WGN anchors Robert Jordan and Jackie Bange, who look quite Serious and Somber while delivering the news.

Once they hit the commercial break, they transform into silly nutballs and do a special shebang, which they’ve honed over the years to take up exactly two minutes.

Also, just because I can, the original Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindi the Lauper.

The Killers once covered Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj covered it EVEN BETTER.

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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Filed under 7 Media Strategy Saturday, The Glowing Tube, Journalism, publicity and scandals, Old Media, which is still Big and Strong

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by | August 6, 2012 · 7:42 am

XANAX by Maria Taylor will not put you to sleep

This is an unusual and interesting song. Is it slow or fast?

Methinks this is neither — that it’s a sneaky rocker that manages to be fast while going slow, and to loud while being soft. That’s a neat trick, especially in this Wall of Sound era where every pop song is cranked up to 11.

There isn’t an official music video on the Series of Tubes, far as I know. The home-made version by Kesley or Tiffany or whatever is the best thing around.

There is a live version of it, though. HERE YOU GO:

And, just for kicks, here are the lyrics. I will not dissect them. They are not unusually crazy or brilliant — they simply work.

Continue reading →

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by | May 21, 2012 · 5:05 am

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART is totally bonkers

Guest post by Abby Wilson

Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was released in 1983 and sold about 6 million copies.

If I remember correctly—and I might not since I wasn’t alive at the time—that was achieved without iTunes. People actually had to leave their homes to purchase that song.

Unfathomable.  Those 6 million listeners must not have seen this nonsensical montage to the stuff of which my nightmares are now made.

I needed a glass of wine to make it through the whole video. I kept waiting for the hook, for the melody to diversify and draw me in, but it was as if the first 45 seconds of chords had been looped through that visual assault of ridiculousness. PAINFUL. But it was probably painful for Ms. Tyler as well since her vocal chords are partially damaged.

Let’s review:

  • Demon-eyed choirboys who FLY (see Guy’s post on the Swamp Demon of Louisiana — cousins?)
  • Scantily-clad back up dancers. In loincloths. When is a loincloth a bad idea? (A: Always)
  • Ninjas and gymnasts
  • Football players
  • Men in swim goggles
  • Fencing
  • A formal toast in which they spill wine (cardinal sin)
  • Throwing birds

Do I even need to address the vast chasm between the lyrics and the visuals? How many times does the demon-eyed boy ask her to turn around, bright eyes? SHE NEVER TURNS AROUND. How hard would it have been to coordinate that?

And is she wearing lingerie or a really ugly wedding dress? I can’t tell.

Just when we think ritual animal sacrifice would be the only thing to make this video creepier, we see the ninjas and choirboys lined up for school with Bonnie as their teacher. So in the end, we find ourselves accomplices in a terrifying teacher-student prep school fantasy. At least that explains the loincloths…

Thankfully, someone has remade the music to match the video.

What a relief.  Stock footage of the moon and NINJATIME go down so much easier with a spoonful of heavy-handed mockery, don’t they?

You can find Abby Wilson on the Twitter @blueeyesburn and at her blog, http://abbyandeva.wordpress.com

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by | April 23, 2012 · 5:05 am

Worst music video OF ALL TIME

It’s not “Hey, let’s smoke this stuff, then make a video” weird.

And we’re not talking about some kind of experimental nonsense that went wrong, like filming a video using black lights and glow-in-the-dark paint outfits. Because that has a chance — however small — of paying off.

This video is simply horrible.

Nirvana and that Oh Mickey, You’re So Fine woman got actual cheerleaders for their music vids.

This band seems to have rounded up a bunch of suburban moms and put them into cheerleading outfits, then told them to dance badly, but in sync. It is entertainingly awful.

I also admire the Prince Valiant haircut paired up with a disco shirt, something to show off every inch of the lead singer’s chest hair.

Kudos to this band, whoever you are. You have achieved the worst music video of all time, and it will be incredibly hard to knock you off this throne.

Related posts:

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW by Gotye

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: A Tour De Force of ’80s Videos

The Red Pen of Doom shoots up Train’s DRIVE BY

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

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by | April 16, 2012 · 5:05 am

The Red Pen of Doom analyzes I WANT YOU TO WANT ME by Cheap Trick

As part of my ongoing mission to explore all music, and go where MTV no longer goes anymore, here’s another video: I WANT YOU TO WANT ME by Cheap Trick.

Why show this old thing from 1879 or whatever, when they had to plug their guitars into steam engines?

Three reasons why:

IT.

IS.

AWESOME.

This is a case where simple and repetitive works, because there’s a nice little pattern here with the words: “I want you to want me. I need you to need me.” And so forth. Nothing fancy. Nothing  complicated. But it is inspired, and it’s the kind of song a moderately talented punk band could learn to play, you know, the kind of band that knows four chords and forgets two of them in the middle of the show after they finish off two bottles of cheap vodka.

So in that way, this thing is genius. You don’t need a degree in music to play it. You don’t need a great voice to sing it. It’s the perfect cover song, which is why so many other bands have covered it.

Also, it’s one of the few songs that sounds good live versus all auto-tuned and cleaned up in the studio. A gritty garage band can play it and fudge notes without ruining the thing.

You — yes, you — could probably do a decent job singing this thing at a karaoke bar, even if you are TOO DRUNK TO SPELL KARAOKE.

Bottom line: a simple, study, lovable song. A punk-rock tank with interesting word twists in the lyrics. I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.

Special bonus: my favorite cover of I WANT YOU TO WANT ME by Letters to Cleo. (This cover doesn’t have a music video. Somebody made one with scenes from the show CHUCK, and they did alright. Here you go.)

The lyrics are way, way below, just for fun. Straight-forward stuff – no need to dissect or interpret these.

Related posts:

Music Video Monday: SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW by Gotye

ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Monday: Violins and cellos gone wild

ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

I WANT YOU TO WANT ME

Written by Rick Nielsen
Performed by Cheap Trick

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.
I’m beggin’ you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.

I’ll shine up my old brown shoes.
I’ll put on a brand new shirt
I’ll get home early from work
if you say that you love me.

Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’).
Oh, Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’)
Feelin’ all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’).
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin’, cryin’).

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.
I’m beggin’ you to beg me.
I’ll shine up my old brown shoes.
I’ll put on a brand new shirt
I’ll get home early from work
if you say that you love me.

Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’).
Oh, Didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin, cryin’)
Feelin’ all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’).
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin’, cryin’).
Feelin’ all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’).
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin’, cryin’).
Feelin’ all alone without a friend
you know you feel like dyin’ (dyin’, dyin’).
Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I,
see you cryin’ (cryin’, cryin’).

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I’d love you to love me.
I’m beggin’ you to beg me.

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Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

Google+

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