Tag Archives: funny

Super Bowl goodness: Bad Lipreading, the NFL edition

For an epic Super Bowl–which the Seahawks will win–I give you Bad Lipreading, the NFL Edition.

The Red Pen of Doom’s Greatest Hits Collection: 10 Epic Posts

  1. Epic Black Car deserves good owner; are you worthy?
  2. The Mother of All Query Letters
  3. Why every man MUST read a romance – and every woman a thriller
  4. The Red Pen of Doom impales FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
  5. The Twitter, it is NOT for selling books
  7. 30 achy breaky Twitter mistakeys
  8. Writing secret: Light as air, strong as whiskey, cheap as dirt
  9. The Red Pen of Doom murders THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand
  10. Quirks and legs matter more than talent and perfection


Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Dijkstra Literary Agency.

1 Comment

Filed under Muffin chokers

Old Spock vs. New Spock

One of the best ads I’ve seen in forever. Love the Bilbo Baggins song, and the fact Nimoy is rocking some kind of Snape hairdo.



by | May 7, 2013 · 2:37 pm

A short film full of win

This is insanely well done.

I salute you, filmmaker peoples with remote-control car collections, Michael Bay obsessions and creativity oozing out of your pores. GIVE US MORE.


Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.



Filed under The Glowing Tube

Dogs driving cars, I kid you not

This isn’t one of those joke photos where somebody puts Spot on their lap as they’re cruising down I-5.

This is a BBC news report from New Zealand, where they’re teaching dogs to truly drive cars.

Related post: Cats who open freezers and dogs who fetch COLD BEER

Three things:

1) Anything said with a British accent is — by definition — 15,923 times more awesome.

2) It is official: New Zealand raaawks.

3) When can I hire a trained Schnauzer  chauffeur from New Zealand, and does he require health benefits and a 401(k)?

Related posts: 

Diver attacks and kills great white shark, has a Foster’s

Real animal that should NOT exist: the blue dragon mollusk



Random passages from A BOWL OF WARM MILK AND MURDER

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia … and Tacoma, and Seattle

Shapeshifting owl is seven separate flavors of awesomesauce

The scariest fish IN THE WORLD

The cyclops piglet with two snouts and other REAL MONSTERS

The Swamp Demon of Louisiana


Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.



Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals

Danish commercial makes Michael Bay look like an AMATEUR

Epic slow-motion. Soaring music. Stunned reaction shots — this commercial from Denmark has it all, and they do it better than Michael Bay without even resorting to 593 explosions.

Think of what they could have done with an explosion or seven.


Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.



Filed under The Glowing Tube

Jimmy Kimmel pranks THE WORLD with iPhone 5 shebang

If you show people an iPhone 4s, and tell them it’s the new iPhone 5, how will they say it compares to the last iPhone?

The crazy thing about this video is some of these people can’t tell the difference even though they OWN an iPhone 4s, and are holding it in their other hand as they say, “Oh, this is much lighter and faster.”

Also, this:

Evolution of the iPhone

Funny? Yes. Accurate? Well, yes. There is much Truthiness in here.

1 Comment

Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Muffin chokers

Good things come in small, funny packages

Long is the enemy of all that is funny and good.

Writing long will suck the life out of your words and ideas. Embrace short and pithy. Hug the glory of writing short tightly to your bosum, even if you’re not sure where your bosum may be, or if the FCC will fine you for using that word on the Series of Tubes.

Take photo memes, which are really one-liners with an illustration. They’re boiled down and refined, without a word wasted. That’s why they work. Extra verbiage would drown the funny.

1 Comment

Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Fiction, Red Pen of Doom

TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART is totally bonkers

Guest post by Abby Wilson

Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” was released in 1983 and sold about 6 million copies.

If I remember correctly—and I might not since I wasn’t alive at the time—that was achieved without iTunes. People actually had to leave their homes to purchase that song.

Unfathomable.  Those 6 million listeners must not have seen this nonsensical montage to the stuff of which my nightmares are now made.

I needed a glass of wine to make it through the whole video. I kept waiting for the hook, for the melody to diversify and draw me in, but it was as if the first 45 seconds of chords had been looped through that visual assault of ridiculousness. PAINFUL. But it was probably painful for Ms. Tyler as well since her vocal chords are partially damaged.

Let’s review:

  • Demon-eyed choirboys who FLY (see Guy’s post on the Swamp Demon of Louisiana — cousins?)
  • Scantily-clad back up dancers. In loincloths. When is a loincloth a bad idea? (A: Always)
  • Ninjas and gymnasts
  • Football players
  • Men in swim goggles
  • Fencing
  • A formal toast in which they spill wine (cardinal sin)
  • Throwing birds

Do I even need to address the vast chasm between the lyrics and the visuals? How many times does the demon-eyed boy ask her to turn around, bright eyes? SHE NEVER TURNS AROUND. How hard would it have been to coordinate that?

And is she wearing lingerie or a really ugly wedding dress? I can’t tell.

Just when we think ritual animal sacrifice would be the only thing to make this video creepier, we see the ninjas and choirboys lined up for school with Bonnie as their teacher. So in the end, we find ourselves accomplices in a terrifying teacher-student prep school fantasy. At least that explains the loincloths…

Thankfully, someone has remade the music to match the video.

What a relief.  Stock footage of the moon and NINJATIME go down so much easier with a spoonful of heavy-handed mockery, don’t they?

You can find Abby Wilson on the Twitter @blueeyesburn and at her blog, http://abbyandeva.wordpress.com


Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

A dose of Friday Fail

I used to do a lot of Fail Fridays, because there’s nothing better on a Friday than watching people from around the world do really, really dumb things on video.

This video is (a) French and (b) special, because it has (c) clips of fail I’d never seen before, (d) doses of amazing win to cleanse your palate and (e) subtitles in French.


Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Muffin chokers

One minute of pure energy

Sometimes, a silly one-minute commercial is shot better, and is more entertaining, than 120-minutes of Sylvester Stallone and 11 other Senior Citizens Who Were Once Action Heroes.

There’s also better dialogue in this little short. (Yes, technically there is NO dialogue, except if you count the cat meowing. I’m saying zero dialogue is better than Stallone grunting one-liners to Schwarzenegger and Friends.)

I like all the little details in here, including the scientist’s painted nails. He’s not some boring accountant type. He’s punk rock, people.

Also: If you really dissect this thing, there are setups and payoffs — there’s some structure that makes it go.


Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday