Was Episode 2 of GOTHAM an epic fail or glorious win?

The pilot episode of GOTHAM tried to pack three hours of characters, action and material into one hour, which is more like 42 minutes with all the commercial breaks.

Did I like it? Absolutely.

Was it 10 pounds of plot shoved into a 5-pound bag? Yes. And part of that couldn’t be helped.

However, we now have Episode 2, in capital letters, to reflect upon and answer the question: Can the writers and showrunners keep this thing exciting while slowing it down and giving key characters more screen time?

Here’s the trailer for the pilot, and while this trailer is well done, it doesn’t do justice to how much they tried to pack into it.

And for comparison, before we chat, check out the promo for Episode 2:

So how did they do? Just fine.

In fact, this is one of the rare shows where Episode 2 is better than the pilot.

Why? This time was slower in a good way. They gave villains time to chew the scenery, with the best bits being the slowest scenes.

The second show reminded me of how Quentin the Tarantino ratcheted up the suspense, higher and higher, with the opening scene of INGLORIOUS BASTERDS.

And that’s only a taste of that scene. It goes on and on, and you don’t care that nothing seems to be happening, that’s it’s simply two men at a table with a glass of milk, talking. Because there’s crazy tension and conflict there without a single gunshot or explosion. Michael Bay would go deep into withdrawal, right?

But slow can work. Slow burns are often the best burns. Gunfights and making things go boom doesn’t mean anything unless you give it meaning.

BREAKING BAD understood this perfectly. There was no shortage of blood on the floor of that set, yet Vince the Gilligan and his creww always took their time to carefully plant setups and build up that tension before finally paying them off.

One of best examples of Chekhov’s Gun ever comes from a literal gun, an M60, they planted in the trunk of Walter White’s car, not knowing when, why or how that gun would go off later in the last season. Brilliant!

Well played, GOTHAM people. Good actors, good sets and good pacing. Keep it up.

What say you, (a) casual Batman fans and (b) intense fanboys who know how to spell and pronounce Ra’s al Ghul? Bring it in the comments.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Big Screen, The Glowing Tube

Take this red pen and cut, just so

I’m looking for a few omega readers and editors to take a fresh look at a little something-something.

Yes, the literary term is “beta editors,” but that’s not what we’re talking about. At all.

Beta editing is for rough drafts and nancypants.

Omega editing is closers, for the final shebang, and – by definition – omega editing CRANKS EVERY DIAL TO 11.

Who am I looking for, exactly? Not the usual suspects, though if you name is Keyser Soze, you’re in.

If you insist on the proper usage of “whom” even though it’s deader than Justin Bieber’s music career, you’re out

I’m shooting for fresh eyes from far-off places:

  • a poet from Poland
  • a screenwriter from Sweden
  • a novelist from New Zealand
  • a freelance writer from Finland
  • a short-story writer from South Africa
  • and yes, and editor from Estonia, because I’m running out of alliteration options here.

If you’re up for it and like bleeding red on pages FULL OF WORDS, hit me. Write a witty comment, tweet @speechwriterguy or send me secret email using the Series of Tubes.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award (PNWA 2013). Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday, Fiction, Red Pen of Doom, Thrillers and mysteries

Music Video Monday: Rock You Like a Hurricane

As a public service, now that MTV no longer, you know, plays any music videos, I will play some.

Am I the last VJ on earth? Maybe. Does the job pay well? Nope. Will I keep doing it every Monday, even during the zombie apocalypse, using a ham radio and a gas-fired generator to keep the series of tubes alive with the sound of the Scorpions? Why, yes. Yes I will.

As always, I invite discussion of the imagery and symbolism of this fine music video. If you are an English major, film student, author, director or all-around smartypants, please use your powers. Deconstruct the Scorpions and their use of extreme close-ups.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

Lake Sylvia, black and white

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by | September 20, 2014 · 8:25 am

Reading times for famous book-like objects

Reading times for these famous piles of dead trees

Okay, I’m surprised that George R.R.R.R.R.R.R. Martin wins this contest, though for some reason they skipped over Stephen the King, who may be a literary god, but who also can turn a grocery list into 1,034 pages featuring an evil clown.

Also, J.R.R. Tolkien gets credit for writing some kind of 60-page prologue to LORD OF THE RINGS that was like some sophomore history sociology major’s paper on hobbits and elves. It put the B in Boring and made me throw the book across the room, which was hard to do since I was on a beach in Maui, drinking margaritas and in the Best Mood Ever.

Also-also: J.R.R. Tolkien gets double-credit for starting the whole stupid trend of fantasy and sci-fi authors, male and female, renouncing first names in favor of initials for some reason. The trend will continue and hipster authors writing about elves with lightsabers riding dragons will, within ten years, pick pen names like “GRRRRR the Grizzly Bear” and “Sw33tn3ss M00nb3&m the Z0mbi3k1ll3r” and “Darth Elvis Skywalker III.” Bonus points if you indie-publish a book with any of those pen-names.

What famous book did you fly through, and which one took you FIVE BAZILLION YEARS?

Go crazy in the comment section.

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This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday

The six types of insane song lyrics

If you love music, and music videos, you start seeing patterns.

Here’s what I’ve learned from dissecting lyrics and making fun of music videos: it’s easy to put them into categories, both amazingly awful and insanely great, and there are SIX KINDS, because I say so.

The six types are:

1) Boring Pop Songs

These are trite little pieces of drivel, sung by boy bands, Justin Bieber and Britney Spears, written at a fourth-grade level because they’re meant to be consumed by seventh-graders.

It’s the kind of thing that makes the average Madonna song look deep.

What’s the acid test for Boring Pop Songs? If you do a “find and replace” in word for “oh baby” and half the lyrics disappear.

Related: Music Video Deathmatch: Lady Gaga vs Justin Bieber

2) Pretentious Pop

Vivid imagery that’s poetic, yet confusing. That’s your basic recipe for pretentious pop, which is equally bad whether it’s (a) some boy band trying to get deep or (b) Sting trying to show everybody he went to college, and yes, I adore the Stinger, so that’s said out of love, because he usually hits the mark. Related: Sting nails it with WHY SHOULD I CRY FOR YOU?

Here’s some infamous nonsense from The Decemberists, who specialize in Pretentious Pop:

Fifteen lithesome maidens lay
Along in their bower
Fourteen occupations pay
To pass the idle hour

3) Cryptic Yet Meaningful Goodness

AMERICAN PIE is the best example of this. Are the lyrics deep and confusing? Absolutely. Yet if you dig deep into it, line-by-line, they make sense.

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Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

What do you want? Hit me

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So I’m in the same haunted beach cabin where this blog was born, accidentally, before a silly craigslist ad went viral and all kinds of romance authors and people from Austria to Australia randomly found it.

I am a far, far better writer because of it. Thank you.

So while I make evil plans for the coming year, possibly involving a robot army and sharks with lasers, it’s a good time to ask you: what do you want?

More first pages of novels gutted by a red pen?

More obscure music videos dissected, line by line?

More weird news?

Hit me.

Especially if your a lurker, a shy one.

Tell me your requests. Nominate a book, movie or music video that needs a red pen. Bring it in the comments, the Twitter or my secret emails.

And thank you. It’s been insanely fun.

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Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday, Uncategorized