Just the world, the galaxy and the universe set to music

Illusion of Lights: A Journey into the Unseen from Goldpaint Photography on Vimeo.

So this man and his wife quit their jobs, sold every possession and went on the road to shoot epic videos.

Not gritty urban scenes or dogs shaking water off them in slow motion. Nope.

They’re shooting the world, the galaxy and the universe, using a camera rig that (a) shoots all night while (b) changing the shot and (c) switching how you see things, forever.

Kudos to you, Brad and Marci Goldpaint. Give us moar moar MOAR.

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

4 Comments

Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

Meanwhile, in Russia

So this is an actual sport, and yes, that’s Vladimir Putin’s daughter dancing like it’s 1985.

Back in 1980’s, competitive aerobics was a big thing for about two seconds right when when Sylvester Stallone (5’10”) pretended he could beat up Swedish studmuffin Dolph Lundgren (6’5) in a big U.S.vs. Russia stand-in for the Cold War.

In 1987, Crystal Light had national championships in team aerobic dancing, and folks on the interwebs make fun of it today. I probably have shown people clips from back then. Yet this new Russian video made me take a second look. You should, too.

See? The American version, sure, we can say it’s seems silly now, but those men and women actually could dance and did hard physical stuff that was entertaining. They didn’t repeat themselves over and over like Putin’s daughter kicking sideways before doing the whole Throw the Cheerleader in the Air and Catch Her trick seventeen times. Difficult? Yeah. Impressive? Maybe twice.

So in the battle of Cheesy Aerobic Dance Sports Similar to Ice Skating in that Only Judges Can Know Who Wins, you have to give this round to the Americans. (Yes, ice skating is not a sport, even though it is hard. Neither is bodybuilding, even though it is hard, too. The more audiences are clueless about who wins until judges reveal the answer, the more it’s like a reality show where producers are pulling all the strings and you get scandals were judges are bribed to pick the right winners.)

What’s the verdict with U.S. vs. Russia competitive aerobics? We did it first and we did it better, even if Russia’s president has his daughter involved or not.*

What other strange sport-like objects deserve scrutiny? Hit me in the comments or the Twitter.

*Maybe if he showed up at halftime, shirtless and riding a tiger, the score would be closer.

Note: updated post after putting up wrong second video. 

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

2 Comments

Filed under Animals, monsters and monstrous animals, Muffin chokers

Epic Announcer Man does the classic Seahawks-Packers game

Is it the Best NFL Game of All Time?

I’d say so. There might be games where teams came back from a more lopsided score. But not when the stakes were a trip to the Super Bowl.

Here’s that narrator with the Voice of God, the kind of guy who does movie trailers with his booming voice, as he does that crazy 2015 NFC Championship Game, the miracle in Seattle.

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

1 Comment

Filed under The Glowing Tube

Two-point conversion: Hawktown Funk plus Bad Lip Reading NFL 2015

How bad is Seahawks fever right now?

Crazy bad.

Turn on the radio or pick up a newspaper and it’s all Seahawks, all the time.

My wife steals the sports pages from me, every morning, and now has favorites among sports columnists. This itself is a miracle. Radio stations are doing contests for best Seahawks song and the fans are riffing off Ice, Ice Baby and sixteen bazillion other songs, old or new. It’s a good time.

Here are two great clips from the series of tubes.

Hawktown Funk

Bad Lip Reading NFL 2015

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

1 Comment

Filed under The Glowing Tube

How Obama’s 2015 State of the Union tries to break the mold

President Barack Obama delivers the State of the Union address in the House Chamber at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2015. (Official White House Photo By Chuck Kennedy)

President Barack Obama delivers the State of the Union address in the House Chamber at the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2015. (Official White House Photo By Chuck Kennedy)

State of the Union speeches are tough. Here’s why:

(1) By tradition, you have to lay out a laundry list of policy ideas.

(2) Laundry lists are inherently boring.

(3) By law, each president is required give this speech and to have guests in the audience, sitting next to the First Lady or First Man (yes, we will have a lady president one day, so this title needs to be discussed), and those people in the audience get talked about at some point in the speech. I believe Ronald the Reagan started this.

(4) Okay, giving a State of the Union speech every year is not actually a law. It’s really in the U.S. Constitution, as explained here.

(5) The audience is made up of members of Congress, which means half of them will applaud if the president successfully pronounces “America” while members of the other party will sit on their hands and sneer even if you go full Oprah on them and announce that free puppies and tax breaks for each of their districts are sitting UNDER EVERY SEAT. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under 4 Writing Secrets Wednesday, Speechwriting

BatKam, the Seahawks’ Dark Knight–plus the secret to football’s power

As I live in the Land of the Twelves, the heroics of BatKam are well known to me and my neighbors, and woe unto the wide receiver, running back or quarterback who enters his realm.

HOWEVER: What is it about football that makes us root so hard, and so faithfully, for our local team? Why is it that a random Sunday Night Football game beats a World Series game in the ratings?

It’s not a pure popularity thing. Soccer is strong here, and I know some insane baseball fans.

Football feels different.

Here’s my theory:

1) Other games, like baseball, look like games.

Baseball has a neat diamond, a slow pace and very individual stats with players spread out. It’s a team sport, sure, but more than one player is rarely involved unless it’s from a distance, or two outfielders screw up and run into each other chasing a fly ball.

Basketball is more of team vs. team sport, but it’s also more civilized than football. Sure, there’s contact in the post, and sharp elbows. It’s not a tackling sport by nature.

Hockey is more of a “warriors wearing armor” motif like football, but it’s a lot like basketball and soccer in the scoring and the spacing. Clumping up is usually a bad thing.

Boxing and MMA are actual fights, but champion fighters might lose their belts tomorrow or decide to move to Hollywood and try action movies.

Teams have staying power. You can root for them year after year.

2) Football looks and feels like war.

This is maybe the heart of football’s appeal: it’s Seattle versus San Francisco, and our strongest warriors are better than yours. Except nobody has to die.

Unlike hockey and other games where the clock keeps running, the different downs of football actually make it better. Those stoppages let football teams line up in different formations, like armies facing each other, and use an ever-changing arsenal of complicated strategies, tactics and formations.

All this gives coaches and teams vastly different personalities: finesse vs. power, defensive might vs. offensive juggernauts, the best free agents vs. building talent from young drafted players.

I’ve watched soccer for years. Technically, there are all kinds of different formations that teams and coaches use. But honestly, it looks the same to average fans like me. Same thing with basketball. Does anybody aside from deadly serious basketball fans know what Phil Jackson’s triangle offense is? Even the most casual football fan, though, can see the difference between a power running game and a spread passing attack. They get it. You don’t need to be an expert. It looks like a battle and you can tell which team, as a whole, is pushing the other team around or tricking them into big plays.

But hey, this is a random theory, and an excuse to play an awesome BatKam video from the series of tubes.

Here’s to hoping that Seattle and the Legion of Boom win one more game, even against the noble Packers (good people, good fans, good team–it would have been more fun to crush the Cowboys).

I believe in our young warriors and our ageless, energetic, positive coach, so unlike the stereotypical football guru on the sideline who never smiles.

I believe the 12’s can break the world record for noise, and that our running back can cause an earthquake.

I believe.

And that doesn’t happen with other sports.

More posts for your amusement and possible education:

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

2 Comments

Filed under The Glowing Tube

TAKE ME TO CHURCH by Hozier is film-noir goodness

Here’s the acid test, for me: I drive MANY MILES each day, listening to the radios, and if a song is good, I don’t care who sings it.

Only then do I check out the music video, and maybe blog about it on the WordPress machines.

TAKE ME TO CHURCH rocks on the radio.

However, having watched 4,092 bazillion music videos in my life, including a brief period where MTV actually played music videos, I’ve learned not to expect much from the actual video part, except for (a) boy bands dancing, (b) pop divas dancing in front of backup dancers who are far better at the dancing thing, (c) rock stars trying dance with the microphone stand or (d) hipster bands trying to be artsy and deep while mostly being bizarre.

Good music videos are rare.

I’m not talking “Bigfoot is in my backyard and I shot thirty minutes of film of him playing with my dog” kind of rare.

No. I’m talking about “Snooki is at a philosophy conference at Yale, presenting a paper on Nietzsche” rare.

So here are two music videos, both black-and-white, and both surprises.

First up is Hozier, the one from the headline. Great song on the radio, different and strong. The video makes it ever better, wonderfully shot in true film-noir style, it’s not afraid to have a non-Hollywood ending. Well played, Hozier.

The second song and video is also black-and-white and the same kind of slow burn. Had no idea who sang it when it played on the radio. Good stuff, full of pain and longing, and not your usual “baby baby” bubblegum pop nonsense with a guest rapper to give it some grit and soul. (How many times can pop stars go to that well? Apparently, forever.)

This second video shocked me by being by Selena Gomez, not known for this sort of song. And yes, she looks like every bartender in the world would card her, and the song is about Justin Bieber, who simply needs to go away. Despite those handicaps, which are huge, it works. So let’s give it props. Watch and listen.

What are your favorite music vids of 2014? Hit me in the comments, on the Twitter or whatever techno-magic you possess. BRING IT.

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award and is represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

7 Comments

Filed under 2 Music Video Monday