Have you ever avoided doom?
I bet you’ve swerved on I-5 to stop a drifting semi from turning your car into a cube of steel.
As a teenager, I bet there were times buddies dared you to (a) jump off the roof of a hotel into the pool, (b) drag race down a dark county road at 120 miles an hour in a beater that couldn’t break 80 without rattling like it fall apart or (c) chug an entire bottle of Grey Goose they swiped from Dad’s liquor cabinet.
Hear me now and believe me later in the week: these sort of things are good for you.
I don’t mean you should take up base jumping, climbing cliffs without ropes or stupid stunts involving skateboards. It never works out.
HOWEVER: In my experience, whatever hasn’t killed me has made me a happy man for months.
My friend Leo took me mountain climbing for the first time, and when it turned out more crazy than I expected, with white crosses marking where people died, I was insanely thrilled to get down that mountain. My wife says I was a joy to be around for months. Nothing bothered me.
So I had a little surgery yesterday, something that started out as a simple, easy trip to the doctor. Shoot a little local in me, cut it out, stitch me up.
Nope. Got sent to a surgeon, who said they’d have to put me under, because the thing was too deep.
Took all day. I’d had surgery a half-dozen times before, mostly as a kid. I think as a shorty you’re more worried about the moment. As an adult, with a wife and a kid, these sort of things matter more. You worry.
What if this tumor is some kind of crazy parasite I picked up in the deserts of Dubai?
Or what if it’s cancer, and I’ve got to go all Walter White?
Who would be my Pinkman?
Everything should be fine. Even so, there’s that same sense, that feeling each day is a gift.
This month is the anniversary for the blog, born in a haunted oceanfront cabin by Port Townsend when I needed to sell my beater Hyundai.
I believe it calls for a little celebration: a Greatest Hits compilation and a call for ideas. If you’ve got something that would be perfect for the blog, or want to guest post, give me a shout in the comments, on the Twitter or via secret emails.
Meeting so many brilliant and funny writers from around the world has been a pleasure. I can’t thank you enough.
Related posts: The Red Pen of Doom’s Greatest Hits
- Epic Black Car deserves good owner; are you worthy?
- The Mother of All Query Letters
- Why every man MUST read a romance – and every woman a thriller
- The Red Pen of Doom impales FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
- The Twitter, it is NOT for selling books
- Seven movie clichés that must be NUKED FROM ORBIT
- ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom
- Top 10 Myths of Journalism School
- Gertrude Stein is a literary TRAIN WRECK
- A BOWL OF WARM MILK AND MURDER
- Real animal that should NOT exist: the blue dragon mollusk
- 30 achy breaky Twitter mistakeys
- The evil secret to ALL WRITING – editing is everything
- Writing secret: Light as air, strong as whiskey, cheap as dirt
- The Red Pen of Doom murders THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand
- Quirks and legs matter more than talent and perfection
- Top 10 facts about agent Cherry Weiner, who has a license to kill
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller (FREEDOM, ALASKA) that won some award (PNWA 2013).