One of the best ads I’ve seen in forever. Love the Bilbo Baggins song, and the fact Nimoy is rocking some kind of Snape hairdo.
Category Archives: The Glowing Tube
A short film full of win
This is insanely well done.
I salute you, filmmaker peoples with remote-control car collections, Michael Bay obsessions and creativity oozing out of your pores. GIVE US MORE.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
Filed under The Glowing Tube
Family values from Honey Boo Boo Child
Before yesterday, I thought Honey Boo Boo was just another TLC exploit of little girls forced into the cutthroat world of glamour pageants. Naturally, TLC does not shadow some cute little girl who wins all the time—because that would be Boring.
TLC follows the poorest, heaviest and least dignified darling to continue the network’s support of the “underdogs” in this world: ENTER HONEY BOO BOO.
On the episode I watched, Honey Boo Boo’s seventeen year-old sister gave birth to her first baby, Kaitlyn. The baby has not one, not two, but three thumbs.
I initially thought, “What the hell, as if this baby doesn’t have enough going on—she’s got to have an extra finger?” I can see the next TLC spin-off, Thumbelina of the South.
Cue the sappy music. The family’s reaction to the extra appendage shamed me for being such a self-righteous brat. Most other families would be horrified, some even devastated, but not Honey Boo Boo’s family. They playfully joked about her little phalange.
http://perezitos.com/2012-09-27-honey-boo-boo-finale-introduces-extra-thumb-baby-kaitlyn
The matriarch of the family said of the deformity, “It makes her more unique and special to us.”
Don’t know about you, but I can’t see anything wrong with a family that accepts one another just the way they are.
I retract all prior judgments and give Honey Boo Boo and her family three thumbs up.
Lauren Palazzo: Write words for the right people. Recent #PR grad (Summa Cum + 4 internships). Public speaking coach and #SocialMedia ballerina. Will work for peanut butter.
Twitter: @laurenpalazzo
LinkedIn: Lauren Palazzo
Portfolio: www.laurenpalazzo.com
Filed under The Glowing Tube
One second, every day, for one year
This is shockingly fun to watch and interesting.
Without trying to tell a story, this man tells a story.
I tip my hat to you, Mr. One Second Every Day — well done, sir. Well done.
The great thing: anybody with a smart phone can do this, and do it well.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Glowing Tube
Best Job in America: Cast member for Saturday Night Live
Guest post by Lauren Palazzo
While other kids were watching The Secret Life of Alex Mac, I was watching Saturday Night Live reruns on Comedy Central.
Okay, so I may have switched to Nickelodeon during Weekend Update, but politics wasn’t really my thing at age seven. During my teen years, I had a revelation: SNL cast members have the best job in these great Americas.
Think about it. They get paid to play dress up all week and hang out with celebrities—ON THEIR TURF.
In no other situation do you get to say, “Oh hey Tom Hanks, that’s actually my seat.”
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4088
It’s also the perfect amount of notoriety. How often do you see a picture of Seth Myers grocery shopping on the cover of tabloids? You don’t because, unlike poor Lindsay Lohan, no one cares if he downs a gallon of vodka and wakes up three states away wearing Hanes on his head.
SNL cast members are part of this exclusive cool kid club of smart, funny people and when it’s over, they do what they want. Will Ferrell moved to the big screen, while Rachel Dratch is chilling at home, writing books and whatever.
That is the beauty of America, though. Some people dedicate their careers to performing heart transplants, while others get paid to do this:
Lauren Palazzo: I write words for the right people. Recent PR grad (3.97 GPA + 4 internships). Public speaking coach, photographer and social media ninja.
Twitter: @laurenpalazzo
LinkedIn: Lauren Palazzo
Portfolio: www.laurenpalazzo.com
Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Glowing Tube
Insane ’80s show MANIMAL returns to the Glowing Tube
MANIMAL is coming back to TV, rebooted and such.
If you are a child of the ’80s, or even alive and conscious during that decade, you remember some nutty TV shows that — at the time — we thought were cool.
THE A-TEAM is unwatchable today. Go fire it up on Netflix or whatever. The fourth time in a row that (a) Mr. T says “I pity the fool” as (b) bullets spray all over the place and (c) bad guy cars jump in the air and do that half-flip, you’ll do a facepalm, and right in the middle of that facepalm, Col. Hannibal will light up a cigar and say, “I love it when a plan comes together.”
Other things we watched and thought were cool: AIRWOLF and that show where some American guy thinks he’s a ninja because he has an old wise mentor and is constantly fighting some actual ninja who actually should be the hero, seeing how he was the only real ninja within 100 miles.
Anyway, the point is, they’re rebooting one of the nuttiest relics from the Glowing Tube back in the ’80s: MANIMAL.
This is great news for America, and for bored college kids looking for something watch and dissect, as a group, when they’ve had too much Pabst Blue Ribbon to write that term paper about dialectical materialism as it relates to Madonna’s early videos, the ones before she’d married Sean Penn.
Here’s the classic MANIMAL intro.
Watch the hero as he trasforms, and no, they didn’t get this idea when they hired the special effects guy who turned Michael Jackson into a werewolf.
Special bonus: SPACE SHERIFF triple transformation
Note that I have no idea what this show is, aside from a possible father of POWER RANGERS, but it is awesome.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Glowing Tube
Danish commercial makes Michael Bay look like an AMATEUR
Epic slow-motion. Soaring music. Stunned reaction shots — this commercial from Denmark has it all, and they do it better than Michael Bay without even resorting to 593 explosions.
Think of what they could have done with an explosion or seven.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
Filed under The Glowing Tube
Journalists just wanna have fun
As a reformed journalist, I can tell you secret things.
Number One: Coffee.
If you want to make a reporter smile, or an editor not growl at you, feed them industrial amounts of coffee.
Number Two: Stress requires unstressing.
Journalists do a stressful job for tiny amounts of monies, and they’re under the Most Insane Deadline Pressure Known to Man, which makes them look for ways to unwind.
Here are my favorite journalists finding ways to unstress.
First we’ve got Bob Herzog.
Bob’s a TV reporter from Local 12 in Cincinatti who took the thankless job of “Traffic Reporter, A Job We Sometimes Have Interns Do” and turned it onto a “Dancing King of the Glowing Tube.”
Then we’ve got WGN anchors Robert Jordan and Jackie Bange, who look quite Serious and Somber while delivering the news.
Once they hit the commercial break, they transform into silly nutballs and do a special shebang, which they’ve honed over the years to take up exactly two minutes.
Also, just because I can, the original Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cindi the Lauper.
The Killers once covered Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj covered it EVEN BETTER.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
THE WALKING DEAD walks into Dumb Movie Land
Movies make people dumb.
Not the people watching movies, unless that movie happens to be TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 5 or whatever, in which case yes, your LSAT scores will never be the same.
No, I’m talking about characters in movies.
Characters in books sometimes do stupid things, but not usually. Put that same character in a movie and they turn into absolute idiots.
This is true for romantic comedies (bumbling fools in love!), action movies (no henchman can shoot, and no heroine or sidekick can avoid getting kidnapped by the villain) and especially horror movies, which deserve a post all their own.
If a person with a functioning brain cell rattling around their skull wouldn’t go into the spooky abandoned house where people keep disappearing, you can bet the movie character will march right in. Does the hot young teenager know that a serial killer is chasing down and killing hot young teenagers? Well, she should definitely wear high heels and fall down six times while the psycho chases her.
There are websites dedicated to listing the stupid things that movie characters do.
However: I want to pick on THE WALKING DEAD, a zombie shebang that’s on the Glowing Tube.
As a fan of zombies, I am aware of this show, and though I haven’t watched every flipping episode, I kinda keep track of things by recaps and reviews and such. It’s a good show and not at all stupid.
So why did a smart show have their characters get so idiotic in the big series finale?
Here’s the setup: the non-zombie hero peoples are holed up at some farm, and the big finale is a battle that happens when the zombies show up, en masse.
What made me want to throw things at the YouTube clip is how the zombies happily marched across the fields and surrounded the farmhouse.
No, no, no.
If you or I are hanging around a farmhouse during the zombie apocalypse, the zombies won’t ever march up on us from every direction. Why? Because we’ll get busy, real quick, using all the tools and equipment that any decent farm has the second we arrive there and take inventory of the place.
First thing we do is fire up the tractor or backhoe and dig a long ditch around the farm.
Second thing we do shove the dirt we dug up into a berm, a rough wall. So they fall in the ditch, and if by some zombie magic one of the undead gets out of the ditch, he’s gotta climb a wall.
Third thing we do is put a barbed wire fence on top of that berm.
Fourth thing we do is find some fuel and make Molotov cocktails.
If there’s a working tractor, this sort of thing takes a day or two.
And it’s worth it, because now a single Farmer Joe type with a flipping .22 rifle can stand on top of that berm and pick off zombies all day while he sips moonshine. Because there’s no way a horde of zombies is magically getting past the ditch, the wall and the barbed wire. It’s not happening.
Zombies can’t climb.
Instead, the heroes of THE WALKING DEAD go on foot (to get nom-nom-nommed) and drive around in cars trying to blow away zombies. Which isn’t smart, either. Shooting from a moving vehicle may look cool, but you have a much better chance of hitting a moving target when you’re not bouncing around, too.
Bottom line: If you really want to survive a horror movie / zombie apocalypse, please use your noggin first and your trigger finger second.
###
Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.
Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Glowing Tube, Zombie apocalypse
