Author Archives: Alex Corey

About Alex Corey

ptyjournalist@gmail.com @MrAlexCorey

Insensitive Hippo opens Twitter account, harasses man it once swallowed

Protip: Do not play around with hippos.  Art by Netlizard.

At 27 years old, Paul Templer was swallowed by a hippo.

In 1996, Templer was giving a tour of the Zambezi river in Africa when his canoe was overturned. As Templer paddled out to rescue a fellow guide, he was swallowed by a rude hippopotamus.

Templer documented the incident in an article written for The Guardian in May 2013. Templer writes:

I reached over to grab his outstretched hand but as our fingers were about to touch, I was engulfed in darkness…I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible, sulphurous smell, like rotten eggs…My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around – my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo’s snout. It was only then that I realised I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth.

…I’ve no idea how long we stayed under – time passes very slowly when you’re in a hippo’s mouth.

After having a book about the experience published in 2012 (ironically titled What’s Left Of Me), he thought that his nightmare with the “rogue hippo”, as he calls it, was over.

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Filed under 7 Media Strategy Saturday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals, Journalism, publicity and scandals, Muffin chokers, The Twitter, the Book of Face and the Series of Tubes

GODZILLA’S REVENGE, the golden age of Men in Rubber Suits

A little known cinematic gem is perhaps GODZILLA’S REVENGE  (1969).

I say perhaps, because I’ve only seen the trailer…and what a trailer it is! This was the golden age of men in rubber suits.

Tragically, the new Godzilla (2014) will not feature men in rubber suits. No, that time has past. CGI is the future…Motion capture…3D…

However, through the power of the Series of Tubes, you can relive the glory days of cheap “practical effects” (as in practical for the movie’s budget).

Nothing beats the raw physicality of a trained thespian (or a willing intern) in a rubber suit, acting out the complex emotions of a scaled beast that terrorizes for sport.

Poster for Godzilla’s Revenge (1969)

The tagline for this film when it was released in 69′:

SEE: PREHISTORIC MONSTERS CRAWL OUT OF THE HIDDEN DEPTHS OF THE EARTH AND TAKE REVENGE AGAINST THE LIVING!

MY TAGLINE:

SEE GODZILLA THROW AN INSECT MAN LIKE IT’S A TOY (it might be) AND THEN TOSS AN UGLY GREEN BEAST OVER HIS SHOULDER WITH NO REGARD FOR SAFETY!

Alex Corey, writer from California

Alex Corey

Alex Corey is a writer studying journalism at California State University-Northridge and an intern for Latino-Review.com He can be reached on Twitter @MrAlexCorey and on the Series of Tubes at Motionpictureplanet.wordpress.com

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Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Big Screen

Obscure Recipes for Football Food: Beer Marinated Dogs (Hot)

Wildcard weekend is deserving of something out of the box (not out of a box) for your taste buds.

I first thought of the idea for marinating hotdogs in beer a year ago while in North Carolina. I took to the series of tubes and sure enough, as all creative minds think alike, the front page was full of individuals who had already posted their recipes online.

Which beer marinade to trust? I thought. I experimented a bit and found the ingredients and methods that worked best.

Common ingredients:

Hotdogs: I recommend thinner dogs. The big jumbo dogs seem like a good idea but they’re too thick and don’t soak up as much of the marinade.

Worcestershire sauce: (pronounced “wooster“?) This is a common ingredient found in many of the beer marinade recipes.

Beer: Light beer works best. Rite Aid brand won’t cut it. You will need 2-3 cans or bottles of a decent light beer. Local brews are recommended.

Bay Leaves: This is an ingredient that cannot be left out. It adds flavor and looks fancy. Also add: oregano, basil and thyme if available.

Hot dog buns: Any buns will do, make sure you toast them on the grill before dog insertion.

*Bacon: If you can, wrap them in bacon. This adds a crunchy texture.

Garlic: A common ingredient. I’ve made this recipe with or without garlic and haven’t noticed much of a difference.

*Ketchup: I’m writing about marinating hotdog in beer and wrapping them in bacon, despite this, even I think adding ketchup to the marinade is weird. Besides, you add ketchup at the end anyway. But if you must…Go ahead, add ketchup and be a rebel, but I won’t approve of it.

Steps:

1. Mix the ingredients together.

2. I like to cut an X on both ends of the dogs as well as some shark gill slices across the length of them. This will help distinguish when the hotdogs are done and allows them to soak up the ingredients.

3. Place hotdogs into a container and cover them with the beer marinade concoction.

4. Let the dogs sit in a refrigerator overnight for best results; if you are short on time, a few hours of marination will yield moderate results.

5. Throw those dogs on the grill; when the corners from the X’s on both sides of the hotdogs blossom outwards, dogs are done.

I’m Russell Wilson, and I approve this hot dog.

Additional Reading:

Poodle Head Mikey” recommends braising them in the oven first.

Man-tested recipes for the pro-ketchup rebels

Serious eats recommends additional herbs

Cooks.com has additional Hot dog marinade ideas

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Filed under 5 Random Thursday

BE KIND REWIND: A History of Sweded Film

Be Kind Rewind (2008) was written and directed by French filmmaker Michel Gondry. It’s a movie about the dawn of the DVD and a VHS video rental employee’s attempt to thwart off the digital competition by creating his own versions of popular movies. This practice is known as “Sweding.”

It was panned by critics.

“It’s the kind of amusing film you can wait to see on DVD,” said Roger Ebert in a 2008 review.

Be Kind Rewind currently sports a 65% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes and 6.4 on IMDB.

A colossal box office flop. The film only reeled in four million opening weekend.

Dave Chappelle was supposed to play the main character, who is instead played by Mos Def.

Chappelle’s Block Party documentary in 2005, apparently inspired the film’s urban setting, though the idea was one Gondry had envisioned for years prior.

In an interview with avclub.com in 2008, Gondry said: “Chappelle was intrigued, interested in this project for a while, and he mentioned a couple of films that we did remake: Driving Miss DaisyRush Hour 2, that was his idea… Boyz N The Hood as well.”

Enlisting Dave Chappelle would have made a difference at the box office. Nevertheless, the legacy of Sweding has lived on.

Four years after the film was released, people are still cranking out Sweded films. Including this Casino Royale Gem.

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Filed under 3 Tinseltown Tuesday, The Big Screen