There’s a difference between “True and Terrifying Facts about Actual Animals” and “Scary Stuff from Insane Writers at the Discovery Channel.”
That difference is simple: real life is far, far more frightening than SHARKNADO, though I do admire the writer who came up with the idea of JAWS + TWISTER = viral B movie goodness.
Here are six animals who are not (a) sparkly vampires or (b) moaning zombies but nonetheless (c) don’t age. We’re talking immortal.
Age-defying animals, I tip my hat in your direction. Also, please don’t go swimming around that nuke plant in Japan, grow to a giant size and decide to stomp on my town. Kthxbai.
- Real animal that should NOT exist: the blue dragon mollusk
- Shapeshifting owl is seven separate flavors of awesomesauce
- Diver attacks and kills great white shark, has a Foster’s
- A BOWL OF WARM MILK AND MURDER
- Page 2 of A BOWL OF WARM MILK AND MURDER
- Random passages from A BOWL OF WARM MILK AND MURDER
- Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia … and Tacoma, and Seattle
- The scariest fish IN THE WORLD
- The cyclops piglet with two snouts and other REAL MONSTERS
- The Swamp Demon of Louisiana
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller (FREEDOM, ALASKA) that won some award (PNWA 2013).