Insensitive Hippo opens Twitter account, harasses man it once swallowed

Protip: Do not play around with hippos.  Art by Netlizard.

At 27 years old, Paul Templer was swallowed by a hippo.

In 1996, Templer was giving a tour of the Zambezi river in Africa when his canoe was overturned. As Templer paddled out to rescue a fellow guide, he was swallowed by a rude hippopotamus.

Templer documented the incident in an article written for The Guardian in May 2013. Templer writes:

I reached over to grab his outstretched hand but as our fingers were about to touch, I was engulfed in darkness…I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible, sulphurous smell, like rotten eggs…My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around – my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo’s snout. It was only then that I realised I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth.

…I’ve no idea how long we stayed under – time passes very slowly when you’re in a hippo’s mouth.

After having a book about the experience published in 2012 (ironically titled What’s Left Of Me), he thought that his nightmare with the “rogue hippo”, as he calls it, was over.

Fast-forward to September of 2012. A mysterious Twitter user by the name of @the_rogue_hippo begins messaging Paul Templer.

And so it begins.

And so it begins.

The insensitive Hippo continued to harass Templer, posting this Tweet in October:

RogueHippo2

In February, the rogue hippo posted the following tweet about hippopatamus stew,

RogueHippo3

to which Templer responded:

RogueHippo4

Perhaps in an act of acceptance, Templer elected to Retweet the rogue hippo’s most recent Tweet on May 4th:

RogueHippo5

Alex Corey, writer from California

Alex Corey

Alex Corey is a writer studying journalism at California State University-Northridge and an intern for Latino-Review.com He can be reached on Twitter @MrAlexCorey and on the Series of Tubes at Motionpictureplanet.wordpress.com

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2 Comments

Filed under 7 Media Strategy Saturday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals, Journalism, publicity and scandals, Muffin chokers, The Twitter, the Book of Face and the Series of Tubes

2 responses to “Insensitive Hippo opens Twitter account, harasses man it once swallowed

  1. juliabarrett

    Kind of like Captain Hook’s arch nemesis – the croc that swallowed a clock. Do you remember when a hippo, somewhere, ate a midget? It was very sad and I tried so hard not to laugh, but failed. I’m an awful person.

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