The ’80s were a bizarre mix of ’70s hair and ’50s politics.
HOWEVER: The decade that gave us George Bush the First, Ollie North and Dan Quayle also gave us the most epic Hair Bands of all time, with grown men growing their hair insanely long, dying it blonde, teasing it up to defy gravity, putting on mascara and squeezing into spandex pants, because hey, that proves how tough and edgy you are.
One of the lesser-known Hair Bands is the irrepressible Skid Row, which had a lead singer with (a) the required feathered blond hair, (b) a raspy rock voice and (c) the best rockstar name ever: Sebastian Bach.
Here are two of Skid Row’s greatest hits. Did they have more than two decent songs? I have no idea. But I actually like these heavy metal ballads. Sebastian the Bach even tries to tell stories with the lyrics, which is a vast improvement upon the usual Justin Bieber / Britney Spears bubblegum pop lyrics along the lines of “Baby baby uh-huh-UH!” — and yes, somebody songwriter got paid to write that.
I REMEMBER YOU
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Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.