This fish isn’t your normal scary beast, like a 20-foot-python with muscles like steel cables who wraps its coils around you and starts to squeeze, giving you only one option: pray to whatever gods will listen.
This is an over-sized piranha that EATS CROCODILES.
That’s right: a fish that eats crocodiles.
Read the full story here.
Those teeth can tear through solid steel wire. The jaw is double-hinged, so it can do a better job of munching you. These are transplanted from the mouths of T-Rexes who handed over the teeth after the fish glared at them and grunted a little. Then the fish ate the T-Rexes anyway, because to this fish, giant dinosaurs are a bunch of nancypants.
Technically, it’s called a goliath tigerfish, which is a pretty cool name for a normal fish.
Not this fish. It deserves better.
- Don’t Go in the Water
- The Vorpal Fish of Doom
- Darth Piranha, the Sith Lord of Watery Death
I am officially buying six breeding pairs of these beautiful fish, then putting them in the moat at my secret lair.
Can you find a scarier beast on this green earth?
I think not. Though some of you will try. Go ahead. Bring it.
Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award (PNWA 2013). Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.