The scariest fish IN THE WORLD

This fish isn’t your normal scary beast, like a 20-foot-python with muscles like steel cables who wraps its coils around you and starts to squeeze, giving you only one option: pray to whatever gods will listen.

This is an over-sized piranha that EATS CROCODILES.

That’s right: a fish that eats crocodiles.

goliath tigerfish, fish that eat crocodile, killer fish, t-rex of the water

This is not a shot from the horror movie, ATTACK OF THE SCARY FISH THAT EAT CROCODILES, though such a movie would be awesome. This is a real photo of a real fish that goes all nom-nom-nom on crocodiles just for fun. Eating you would not be a challenge. A snack, maybe. But not a challenge.

Read the full story here.

Look at those teeth, which can tear through solid steel wire. The jaw is double-hinged, so it can do a better job of munching you.

Just look at this beast. It is evil, and brutal, and designed not to scoop up little fish with normal little teeth.

These teeth are daggers transplanted from the mouths of T-Rexes who handed over the teeth after the fish glared at them and grunted a little. Then the fish ate the T-Rexes anyway, because to this fish, those dinosaurs are a bunch of nancypants.

Technically, it’s called a goliath tigerfish, which is a pretty cool name for a normal fish.

Not this fish. It deserves better.

Some suggestions:

  • Don’t Go in the Water
  • The Vorpal Fish of Doom
  • Darth Piranha, the Sith Lord of Watery Death

I am officially buying six breeding pairs of these beautiful fish, then putting them in the moat at my secret lair.

Can you find a scarier beast on this green earth?

I think not. Though some of you will try. Go ahead. Bring it.

###

Guy - Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Guy – Photo by Suhyoon Cho

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that was a finalist for some award.

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13 Comments

Filed under 5 Random Thursday, Animals, monsters and monstrous animals

13 responses to “The scariest fish IN THE WORLD

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  5. I’ll see your tooth behemoth, and raise you an Amazon fish that will swim into your Urethra: http://animal.discovery.com/fish/river-monsters/candiru-catfish/ I can handle mauling better than having a fish removed from Mr. Happy.

  6. Now that is a bad azz fish, but have you seen this one? The Goonch catfish eats people in India (Kali River Killer). Teeth like a freakin’ shark.
    http://species.com/sites/default/files/goonch-catfish-photo-03.jpg
    http://images.community.wizards.com/community.wizards.com/user/kyarie/4a051a7be59b688394b4bb3ea0f006eb.jpg?v=103600

  7. If I was a doctor, I’d probably call it “Andrew Lansley”. But that’s kind of a Brit thing.

  8. I’d call him “Death to Mrs. Paul!”

    But that’s just me.

  9. Larry of the Palouse, I miss you, and I believe all that you say is True.

    Chuck Norris Fish is good, and The Eater of Worlds is inspired.

    I say, whoever is manly — or womanly — enough to actually catch one of these things gets the right to name them forever.

  10. Larry of the Palouse

    I love the River Monsters guy. He really topped himself with that beaut’.

    How about these names?
    Demonkiller hellfish
    Chuck Norris fish (the only thing tougher than Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris)
    Iron Maiden
    The Eater of Worlds
    Cthulthu’s little helper

  11. Well you will really deter stalkers with those bad-ass living nightmares. Well done.

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