ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

A classic, and the first video I remember seeing on MTV, and one of my favorites.

Great song. Great video.

As a special bonus, I found the lyrics.

All of them.

And yes, the Red Pen of Doom couldn’t resist taking a shot at interpreting each line.

Boy!

(My friend, who doesn’t need to be named, and is a male, though possibly not a man, and definitely not a boyfriend, but a buddy.)

Boy!

(I say this twice to reinforce my greeting and to use it as a shout, sort of a combination of “Hey!” and “Man!” and “Can you believe this nonsense?”)

Down in the street there is violence

(There are sometimes assaults and murders that I did not commit, or authorize, and this worries me.)

And a lots of work to be done

(I have things to do, people. I don’t always  hang out in my living room singing at the TV or ride my motorcycle around empty streets.)

No place to hang out our washing

(The economy is so bad, and living quarters so cramped, not only do I fail to own a washer and drier, I don’t even have enough space to hang my clothes out to dry.)

And I can’t blame all on the sun, oh no

(The fact that the weather here is glorious doesn’t cause anyone to be unsuccessful. There are other reasons.)

CHORUS:

We gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

(We’re going to ride fast on our motorcycles on a street where hot women are sometimes spotted, to impress them. If no beautiful women are around, we might just ride really fast and try to look cool.)

And then we’ll take it higher

(After riding around for a bit, we’ll smoke some weed.)

Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

(More riding. Another bowl.)

And then we’ll take it higher

(Hopefully, the supermodels rumored to hang out around here are done with their smoke break now.)

Workin’ so hard like a soldier

(My job is kind of like being a Green Beret, except for the stuff about jumping out of helicopters and getting shot at by other soldiers.)

Can’t afford a thing on TV

(My television keeps on showing me advertisements for items that I could never purchase.)

Deep in my heart I’m a warrior

(I fantasize about being a fighter, or a soldier, but it hasn’t happened yet.)

Can’t get food for them kid, good God

(Despite my strength and Rambo dreams, I still can earn enough to feed my kids.)

CHORUS

Oh no…

(I know bad things are happening and am powerless to stop them.)

Oh no…

(For example, no gas in my motorcycle.)

Oh no…

(Also, a severe shortage of supermodels.)

Oh no…

(And my buddy on the other motorcycle bogarted the last bowl.)

CHORUS

Who is to blame in one country

(Nixon. That man was behind everything.)

Never can get to the one

(But you can’t get close. NIXON KNOWS KUNG FU.)

Dealin’ in multiplication

(If you cut your product, you can sell more, and make more money. At least that’s what I hear.)

And they still can’t feed everyone, oh no

(Even cutting like a mad man, a local dealer can’t feed his kids. That’s how bad the economy is.)

CHORUS

Out in the street…

(No supermodels.)

Out in the street…

(No girls at all. This really sucks.)

Out in the playground…

(Are the playgrounds safe for our pookies? This is a worry of mine. That, or I’m listing all the place I hang out, despite my lack of offspring.)

In the dark side of town…

(I travel in dangerous circles on my motorcycle, but I wear my helmet to protect my skull and my identity. Maybe later, I’ll make a costume, like Batman, and turn this motorcycle into my own Batcycle, then go cruising for Catwoman.)

CHORUS

Rock it in the daytime

(My sleep patterns are random. I might be awake when the sun it out.)

Rock it in the night …

(I may stay awake all night, like a vampire, but not a sparkly one.)

###

This is Guy Bergstrom the writer, not the Guy Bergstrom in Stockholm or the guy in Minnesota who sells real estate or whatever. Separate guys. Kthxbai.

Guy Bergstrom. Photo by Suhyoon Cho.

Reformed journalist. Scribbler of speeches and whatnot. Wrote a thriller that won some award (PNWA 2013). Represented by Jill Marr of the Sandra Dijkstra Literary Agency.

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78 Comments

Filed under 2 Music Video Monday

78 responses to “ELECTRIC AVENUE, as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom

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  66. DB

    Boy! You got a line wrong…
    “Deep in my heart I’m a warrior” is actually “Deep in my heart I abhor ya.”
    In order to pay restitution for this egregious error, Eddie Grant requests that you:
    1] Correct the lyric shown in this post.
    2] Let Mr. Grant flood your living room with water and splash aroud in it, while a 10-inch black and white TV plays in the background.
    3] Listen to Mr. Grant’s “Romancing the Stone” (theme song from the hit movie) on an endless loop for 24 hours.
    Workin’ so hard like a soldier,
    D.B, Eddie Grant’s lawyer & motorcycle mechanic

    Like

  67. Rugged brilliance.

    My fave, perhaps:

    “The economy is so bad, and living quarters so cramped, not only do I fail to own a washer and drier, I don’t even have enough space to hang my clothes out to dry.”

    Excuse me, but I have my own Electric Avenue to rock down to.
    (Meaning I have to get back to work.)

    Like

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  69. Pingback: ICE, ICE BABY as interpreted by the Red Pen of Doom | The Red Pen of Doom

  70. Ha ha ha! Brilliant! You’ve zinged up my Thursday morning with this already!

    Like

  71. I nominate “Ice Ice Baby.”

    Like

  72. I splorted coffee. Out my nose. Ow. Still, this was so bloody brilliant I don’t mind the sting or having to clean up my keyboard.

    Like

  73. Larry of the Palouse

    Brilliant. I’ll never listen to that song the same way again.

    I will also have it rattling around in my head all day. Damn you for planting the ear worm.

    Like

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